there's always tomorrow

i need a morning sitting at this desk.
i want a morning to play dollhouse with pippa.

to lounge around since the house is clean, and the laundry is done, and elias is at preschool.

maybe do some puzzles, or dress some dollies, and have a little mama/pippa time.

what will happen?

i'll sit here and try to knock out a few things real fast, like the email i need to draft for mom's group, and the phone calls to switch doctor's appointments and make other doctor's appointments, or filing these piles, opening the mail, and transferring my life into my new planner (see below. i LOVE it.).

piper will climb all over me until i want to scream.

and i'll be forced out of productive mode and into play mode.

(in the time it's taken me to write this, she's climbed up and down 15 times. as i type these very words, she's playing doctor (? i think), holding me my the eyelashes and sticking a magnifying glass into my eyeball, saying "i yook into you's eyelashes?"

why not put off until tomorrow...what you've put off until tomorrow for over a week...

right?

god willin and the creek don't rise...

i have two hours.

two hours until i escape from the nuthouse and head into boston to see ray lamontagne and david gray at the bank of america pavilion with lee and kate. !!!!! i could not be more excited.

some tunes in my new ride, a little dinner in the city, music on the waterfront, time with other adult females whom i quite enjoy?!

i think i might be dreaming.

until i realize i haven't finished putting away the groceries, or flipped the laundry, or unloaded & loaded the dishwasher, or watered the garden or flowers or shrubs, or prepped all the meat i bought at the grocery store OR showered and gotten ready. (not like dave cares, and i don't know about you other moms, but i can't leave a mess and then go out and live it up. what's up with that guilt?! i'd leave it any other day for any number of other reasons...)

SO. i shouldn't be sitting here, eh?

except i needed a moment to rest my back so i can handle this oppressive heat and get it DONE. ready set...GO.

and while i'm at it, buy every CD they ever made.

where my kids at?

my friend nickey sent this link to me today and i almost peed my pants.

i'm suddenly rethinking this whole car thing- i mean, maybe i should get a minivan, especially if i can call it a "swagger wagon" :) what's sexier than swagger?!




(no, seriously, hunny, where are the kids?)

Don't say no one ever told you...

Below is an excerpt from an interview with Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the book Committed (a follow-up of sorts to the ever-popular Eat, Pray, Love). In preparing a discussion for our married couples group tonight, I came across Liz's thoughts on the romanticism of motherhood, which is idealized as much as marriage is. I've started to realize how detrimental it is to romanticize two of the most difficult roles created: mother and wife.

It is an encouragement to me as I read, knowing the weight and significance of both of those life choices, and although I truly adore my husband AND my children both, I realize the implications and impact I do and will continue to have on those people. Forever. (Scary much?)

See, I just want to make it a POSITIVE impact. So today I am grateful I am not alone in such weighty endeavors, but I am supported by the strength of a mighty God, and His Spirit in me. And that's what I need to rely on.

Because let's be frank, if I were relying on myself, my children could be in immediate danger sometimes :)

Committed was an interesting book on marriage in America and what it means to commit your life to someone in the context of history, fidelity, compatibility, family traditions, social expectations, divorce risks, and humbling responsibilities. Here is the interview:

Interviewer: You tell a story in the book that is pivotal for you, about your grandmother. She was born with a cleft palate and thought to be unmarriageable, so she got an education and took care of herself, one day rewarding herself with a $20 fur-trimmed, wine-colored coat, which she adored. Eventually she does marry. And when she gives birth to her first daughter, she cuts up the coat to make something for the child.

Liz Gilbert: That's the story of motherhood, in a large way. You take the thing that is most precious to you, and you cut it up and give it to somebody else who you love more than you love the thing. And we tend to idealize that, and I'm not sure we should. Because the sacrifice that it symbolizes is also huge. Her marriage and her seven children, in a life of constant struggle and deprivation—it was heavy. And that beautiful mind, that beautiful intellect, that exquisite sense of curiosity and exploration, was gone. I went to Africa when I was 19, and when I came back, I was showing her pictures. And I remember her stopping me and just—she had to collect herself. And she said, "I cannot believe that a granddaughter of mine has been to Africa. I just can't imagine how you got there." I think that her story is so central to my story. To be able to choose the shape of your own life—you sort of must do that, as an act of honor to those who couldn't. There were times, especially when I was traveling for Eat, Pray, Love, when, I swear to God, I would feel this weight of my female ancestors, all those Swedish farmwives from beyond the grave who were like, "Go! Go to Naples! Eat more pizza! Go to India, ride an elephant! Do it! Swim in the Indian Ocean. Read those books. Learn a language. Do it!" I could just feel them. They were just like, "Go beat the drum."

So moms, wives, soon-to-be moms or wives, now you can't say no one ever told you how hard it will be (because, really- no one does ever tell you). I'm taking the opportunity to tell you now, straight up, that being married and having children will be THE two most difficult undertakings of your life. And they WILL also be the two most rewarding, as long as you don't think marriage is about happiness, or that raising children is about you.

Cheers, moms, and cheers, wives. Keep loving and sacrificing :)

tired much?

last night, after dinner, per my usual, i had to lay down on the couch and take 5. for some reason, after i eat any meal, i feel far more nauseous than i did before i ate. (good times, good times.) so dave finished up dinner with the kids, and then we put the kids to bed around 7:15.

so 7:45, the kids were asleep, and we regrouped on the piece of couch that is free of both wall hangings and laundry (yes, i have to finish painting today before company shows up at 6:30). we're both pretty exhausted, and i feel awful, so we lay on this 4 foot parcel of couch, and within 10 minutes, we're fast asleep. unconscious.

dave, apparently, wakes up and gets back to working creating a new flash web site for new hope. it's one of (what we've now labeled, because it's a slight illness?) his "immersions," currently, so he essentially doesn't sleep. he works for hours on sermons, websites, and any number of things...starting at 10 or 11 pm when i turn in. he eventually sneaks into bed in the middle of the night like he's been out drinking with his buddies or something, but no, he's been working.

i, on the other hand, continue sleeping until 1:30 am, when i wake up and realize i just went to bed at 8:00.

8:00?! i mean...really?!

and when i woke up to dave still working (huge surprise here), i made fun of him for a minute or two after he pretends like he'll be up soon, and then headed to bed (again?). and i fell asleep. mind you, i had already slept for almost 6 hours, and i managed to fall back asleep and sleep straight through until this morning at 7:15 when the kids woke up (and elias proceeded to admonish me for taking his soccer uniform to wash it. what was i thinking?! [uhh, that it was really dirty?]).

i mean, by the time you have two children, you've got to be behind, what, months of sleep? so i'm not trying to be hard on myself for sleeping like a raging college student, but...

it seems a bit profuse.

so- anyone else have a tale of ridiculous sleeping?
don't leave me hanging, guys.

photo booth

me and the kids went to the mall the other day (and every time i get home, i think to myself, "why? why did i ever do that?") to do a couple returns. elias is a big fan of camp bucky, and i am a big fan of shopping alone. we can't, of course, ALL get what we want, now can we? so i told elias we could pack a lunch and play on the slide at camp bucky if he cooperated while mom went to 2 stores. easier said than done since some random nonsense kept me in old navy for an eternity. i feel like the only time i get held up in a store is when i'm trying to just get in and get out. ahhh, the irony. he and piper were SO well behaved (this is not always the case. my kids mostly hate any shopping experience that lasts over 1 hour.) and because they were über-patient in the store (unlike me), i treated them to a photo shoot in a photo booth (after they had run around like wild animals for 10 minutes), which blew their minds. they though it was so fascinating and hilarious, which made for a positive ending to what could have been a debacle of a day.

and now i have the perfect photo to keep in my mom purse to show if for some reason i'm out and about without them (gasp).

hey, it could happen.

right?

the catch up poem

(humor me)

to try to catch you up to speed-
well, that would take a century
'what's going on?'
you might ask.
i'll try to sum it
up real fast:
messes, dishes, laundry piles
haven't blogged in quite a while
it's hard working 15 hours
surely there's no time for showers
2 teeth coming in for piper,
change another dirty diaper
young boy covers room with poop
wakes last night, can't breath, has croup
my puke yellow door- it makes me happy
his puke on the floor- that's kinda crappy
piles of notes and things to-do
cleaning, washing, nothing new
thank you notes on desk unsent
wondering where all the weeks have went
grocery shopping and meals to cook
need a nap, want to read my book!
life feels too disorganized
outstanding tasks are super-sized
luckily my husband holds it down
on the days i'm not around
house is clean, kids are fed,
tucked and snuggled in their beds
i am thankful to have work
and try not to be a tired jerk
let's play with puzzles, go for walk
call a friend, for a moment, talk
talk to Jesus, ask for help
i can't do this by myself
realize there's never enough days,
working or not, life will be crazed
just take care of children, love them well
on the hard things, do not dwell
know you're blessed beyond belief
get ready to face another week
i'd love to catch you all up more
and not about poop and puke on my floor
i know, dear friends, these crazy weeks
have not allowed for many peeks
inside the walls of my brain and life
as a mom and pastors wife
but in time i think, i'll be back to share
with friends and family everywhere

so stay tuned...

look familiar?

1. my house is not always clean (the fact that i have to even say that indicates that i may have some issues)

2. however, when it is in this unclean state, which is quite regularly, i want to crawl out of my skin or run away or freak out. for real.

3. it's impossible to keep a home clean when you have children who's chief aim and purpose is to mess it up, pee on it, and leave a literal trail of wreckage in their wake

4. i hate when people see my house messy because i simply can't have it that way. makes me anxious. but because i can't have you all thinking i'm june cleaver or some other psycho, i made this video (and proceeded to start 92339 loads of laundry while dave got his hazmat suit on to do the dishes. have i mentioned that my husband is amazing?).

check this out:

look familiar? (say yes, say yes...)

work it, mama

okay- so i'm not dead. dead tired? yes. but not dead.

as you all know i started a new job working part time for a family i nannied for when i was in college. kate and i stayed in touch and we all got together when we were vacationing in nantucket, one thing led to another, and now my sister and i are sharing a job doing housekeeping and some personal assistant-type tasks.

and i love it. i work every wednesday for as few as 5 hours and as many as 10 until the fall starts, then i'll be working 10 every week. but i've been party-planning for kate (she and the kids stay in their nantucket house for the summer) for her husband tucker's 40th birthday. meeting with catering companies and designers, addressing invitations, organizing her guest list and contacts and the like. very fun. but it's been quite monumental.

so i'm not dead. or missing. just missing in action, and way behind in my own life. laughably, actually. but it's all good.

so do you want to hear a funny story?

we are (were) working with this catering company called "the catered affair" and they work with another place called "party by design" and kate was thinking she'd throw this loungey, sexy party in her backyard (which is gorgeous) for 50-75 people. i meet with the people who make these things happen, we discuss what kate wants, yadda yadda. okay- so she's looking to spend about $10-15,000 on this party. sounds reasonable [well, not for everyone, of course. it's a little out of my league ;)] for a party with tents, lighting, bartenders, catered food, loungey furniture, etc. i figured they'll come in about double that, maybe at $25,000.

i DARE you to guess what their quote was. just try and guess...




over $65,000 PLUS alcohol.

!!!!!!!

can you even believe that? it's nuts man. suffice it to say, we're going in a new direction. check out this place- it's called "mooo" and it's on beacon hill. plan b it is!

so i want to be blogging, i miss writing when i don't have time, but i've been working every day party planning and momming, with no extra time to be found. i have been working on a culture blog but it's so epic, i'm going to have to break it up into a few i think. i'm excited about it. i'll probably have volume one posted tomorrow.

still/busy?

today i realized, not for the first time, however, that i am habitually and characteristically overzealous about "do-ing" and "working." i am literally on the verge of incapable of just sitting still. people always remark at how thin i am (which begs the question 'why are people so obsessed with weight?' but whatever, that's a blog for another day), and although i have my father to thank for a very fast metabolism, the real reason he and i (and many others i'm sure)are so thin is because we have a problem. and the problem is that we insist on always go-go-going and have a really hard time sit-sit-sitting.

in our couples group, we are going through "breaking free" by beth moore. she talks about the "captivity of activity" in the context of oppression and things we hide behind as Christians. and although i never intentionally hide in activity, i still feel like i am much more comfortable with projects and things to do. let's face it, as a mom, there's literally ALWAYS an overwhelming amount of things TO do, aren't there? and if we're being really honest, don't we kind of like being able to hide behind our kids schedules or their needs?

the thing is, being busy is a choice.

my husband reminds me of this frequently. he'll whisk me away from whatever i'm doing just to sit. and it almost takes someone physically removing me from what i'm doing. whether it's washing the floor on my hands and knees at 10:00pm or raking up zillions of rocks, sometimes you just need to take a minute and be still. nothing is going anywhere. trust me, that food on the floor under the highchair? it's gonna be riiighhttt there waiting for you. and those dishes and that laundry and those errands and that email and that phone call? they'll be waiting too.

i think i struggle with knowing that there is much value in stillness, and putting that knowledge into practice. knowing what i know and doing what i know is sometime where i get tripped up. it's hard for me to be still. i have a lot of energy and i thrive of "getting things done" but those are called excuses. the more i live, the more i realize that certain things can wait, and certain things have weight. it's really a question of what's important.

dave always says that you can see what things you value by seeing where you spend the most time. i spend a great deal of time with my children and my husband...but how much time do i spend with Jesus? how much time do i spend in stillness? how much value do i place on knowing what God wants for me? how much time am i actually LISTENING instead of TALKING? these are the questions that matter most.

so instead of raking up the zillions of rocks this morning (zillions is not an overstatement, by the way) i decided to clean out the kids pool (okay, sort of still a task, but it was full of sand) and let them splash for a bit. and then i made lunch and we all ate on the porch together. and i'll tell you this much- that was FAR more satisfying than raking rocks. because you all know that while you try to do and do, your kids make it impossible because of their needs/wants/demands, and if you're anything like me, you get really aggravated and frustrated at them, and then NO ONE is happy. especially YOU.

so i'm working on my expectations still, being a go-go-go type of mom, and working on how to be genuinely satisfied with accomplishing absolutely nothing. because with Christ, that is very possible. God does not value what we value, and although there are many things in our lives that have to get done, we can do those things with love and purpose, as if we're doing them for Jesus himself, OR we can just do-do-do it all by ourselves, and quickly notice that our efforts go unnoticed, unblessed, and are mostly stressed. no rhyming intended.

there will always be things to do, but there won't always be people to do it for. and there is much more value in stillness than in busyness, isn't there?

so...still busy?

updates, edition 1: cutie patooties

edition 1: cutie patooties

let's begin the updates with my favorites- bird (pip) and fish (elias). they're both doing great, both as lively as they ever were, and keeping me on my toes like a stinking ballerina. these are the latest with what they're up to and into:

elias has been cleared by his GI specialist to potty train, and he has already pooped on the potty a few times and even pees on the potty all on his own...well, when he thinks of it. elias was pretty much born independent, and he'll waltz in and be like "mum, i peed on the potty" just like "oh, by the way...". he cracks me up. but i think i'm mostly the one holding him back with this whole ordeal. i'm not very good at even remembering to remind him, so his pull-ups would be much drier if i would pay attention. we're making progress, but slowly. he already got his "goggles and morkel for cooba gyving" for his first poop in the potty. because seriously, this was the kid who cried and got sick and had a belly like a rock constantly, so we've made a lot of progress. i'm beyond proud of him and i am trying to make sure i tread lightly with potty training so we don't end up where we started a year ago.

besides potty training, he's just a hilarious little human, and i just like having him around. A LOT. we just talk and play and i really really ENJOY him. the things that come out of his precious mouth kill me. like the other day in the grocery store when he slapped my butt. i turned around, a bit shocked (as the stock boy stared) and said "what, are you hitting me?!" and he says "no mum, daddy do's that to you all the time." !!!! i almost died. indeed, he does elias. but we're married. so classic elias. he's a hoot. and a love.

piper. let's see, where to begin. well, she's shaping up to be a reallll feisty one, and that's the understatement of the century. i don't know if i should be afraid of her but i think maybe i ought to be. this girl doesn't hesitate to let her opinion be known. little fits of terror, anger and wrath that quickly turn to happy and playful. scaaa-rryyy. i think naming her glory after her grandma gloria was more fitting than i ever could have imagined...because she is one saucy italiana.

right now crawls faster than i can walk, and stands at everything she can, cruising about to get where she needs to go. she falls all the time on her face because she crawls too fast, and i catch her climbing the stairs much too frequently. she can get up them if i am there to spot, so we're onto gates gates and more gates to prevent nutty p from any more falls. she's bled far more than elias has in 3 years, which makes me think maybe she got the bartlett clumsiness. sorry, piper. at least you got my eyes ;) but she really is a snuggly little bug, despite all her fierce and demanding self, so it's hard to stay frustrated with her. she's too smiley and silly. which reminds me, her favorite new things include sticking her tongue out and putting her hand over her mouth like an american indian. that and dancing. she always moves to the beat. she's wild. i think that's the best word for her. she's wild and crazy.

with that, here are some pics of my love doves. enjoy!

mama and piper sunbathing...or maybe shadebathing?

miss p and her ruffle bum. BIG fan.

girl time!

it's still up in the air whether this bird will also be a fish.

you all remember my search for a new baby doll. well, meet option #3, better known as "ruby" (on the right)! i named her ruby because i love that name, and dave hates it so much he won't even let me name a dog ruby. so since piper is too little, i'm calling her ruby until piper has an opinion. funny thing is piper actually couldn't care less about ruby, she like the other little dolly in this picture better. little dolly remains unnamed, but elias calls her piper glory. i mean, i love that name, too, but it could get a little confusing. so i love ruby for piper. and i love her like i'm 10 years old. sooo, maybe i do need to spring for a third. this is getting embarrassing.

isn't she just adorable. (is that weird, since she's not real? see, i'm not kidding, i took pictures of her like she's my daughter...)

and a close-up

here's the kids the other night trying to out-eat each other. hilarious. and one hot mess.

and here's my little pippa-doodlebug.

i also have a couple ah-dorable videos, but they simply would NOT upload, so i'll try them again later. they'll be worth the wait :)

early bird & crazy fish

it's currently 6:32 am and i have been awake for nearly an hour, compliments of my chipper early bird, piper glory, who's insisted for the past few days that between 5 and 6 am is the perfect time to poop her pants.

but it's SO not.

(side thought: her behavior the past week or so begs the question- are ALL little girls some degree of high maintenance? some level of demanding, squirrely, determined, or impossible? i know that girls and boys are inherently different in some ways, but for you mamas with girls and boys out there- are girls WAY harder to deal with, or is it just me??)

i might as well take advantage of this early start, though, with a cup of tea, and a nice early morning blog. it's already 60 degrees outside, which determines that today i'm going to take elias and piper to the beach at watson pond. i have yet to do this solo. i feel pretty confident, except for the fact that my son thinks he's michael phelps (who is an outlier, by the way) and i don't have any "coast guard approved" swim gear for him. (swimmies/floaties are not approved flotation devices. whatever...) so if the lifeguards are there, they're going to kindly ask me to take his swimmies off. they'd rather he drown than wear unapproved swim gear. because that makes sense...

clearly they they don't understand that my son, ever since he could, runs full speed for ALL water, all the time, and he's a total unafraid menace...in a puddle, kiddie pool, big pool, lake, and especially at the beach. he's jumping in, waves knocking him over, salt water in his eyes, and the BIGGEST smile on his face imaginable. he's been jumping into my parents pool since he was 1, and last summer, at 2, he would jump in by himself, no help, and swim around. with his little floaties, of course.

almost completely fearless.

which can be SCARY and a tad UNNERVING. (just not to lifeguards...)

truth is, i pretty much love his fearlessness. he's a good fit with my crazy bartlett genes because i'm not ever worried about him. i find that mostly, elias makes other people nervous, but not usually me. moms pace around nervously glancing from him to me, wondering if i'm going to continue letting him do whatever he's doing. it's funny. since he's always had the propensity to be dangerous, so we've just taught him how to safely climb/teeter/jump/scale/reach/stack/etc. it's much easier than trying to keep him off off away from things. he's equipped with innate skill and coordination, so if he doesn't think he can do something, he'll always shoot me a glance like "i don't know about this one mom. what do you think?" and i'll give him a nod and a wink.

right now i'm kind of imagining him in the water at watson's, diving around, doing his stunts, while piper eats sand, splashes maniacally, and tries to leap in herself, carrying on the menace legacy. this girl...whew, i might be more nervous about her. the more i write this the more i'm wondering if i need back-up. hahaha. it should be...complicated and interesting.

what i don't imagine is that i'll be laying on a towel, reading a magazine, and relaxing. that would be what i would have been doing, say, 4 years ago. and i'd be all tan, and up on fashion trends, and drinking an iced coffee. but today? i'll be juggling kids, making sure no one drowns, feeding sandwiches full of sand, lugging gear, overseeing sandcastle constructions, monitoring sand throwing and splashing, packing and unpacking...

and you know what...it will be great. especially in my cute new bathing suit :) so 1950's. love it!

the thing about spring

you see, the thing about spring is that nice weather lures me into the outdoors. i live for being outside. i love the sun, i love nature, i love outside. and being inside all the time makes me irritated and hateful by january. so when the weather is nice, i can't help but be outside all morning with the kids, having a picnic lunches, and after putting them down for naps, i'll head right on back out with a book or a rake or something to busy myself.

today, however, is a rainy day (torrentially down pouring, actually, but...). it's wet and warm- very spring. and i'm conflicted. now that i don't have to option of being outside, doing yard work, or playing "chase" with elias, i have to choose between the things i want to do and the things i have to or should be doing. it was much easier to just go outside and forget all of the other responsibilities besides mothering.

this is what i want to do most days while the kids sleep:

-blog. i have too many that are half drafted and in the wings. and i'm feeling a green and brown makeover coming on soon. and my west coast girl, jessi, is making me a beautiful header to adorn my blase blog, too. like she has nothing else to do. my word :)

-watch television. i have, ohhh, i don't know, 98725872350 shows racking up on tivo that i either fell asleep watching or have not had a chance to see yet.

-nap. speaking of sleep, i could really use a nap. REALLY.

-read more of the irresistible revolution. it truly is irresistible.

-organize a few things that are getting out of control. like the garage. or eli's toy room. or piper's closet. i'd also like to organize the folders upon folders of pictures on my computer.

this is what i usually end up doing instead:

-laundry. yikes. elias is getting dirtier and dirtier with all his playing outside, so there's no wearing jeans twice anymore. and piper makes a hot mess eating these days, so forget it.

i have another 5, 6, 7 loads awaiting my attention. seriously. check out this pile....

-cleaning. my entire home is sandy and dirty right now, thanks to the piles of dirt in my backyard. talk about piles! there's no way to keep him out of them or off them, so he needs a hose down every night now. geesh.

so today, now that i've blogged about my time management issues, i think will go do some more laundry, and heck, maybe i'll watch a show or two while i fold. that sounds like a win-win.

what do you all think?

what are the things do you choose to ignore when there's a better option??

my baby girl

in the past couple weeks, i've come to the realization that my baby girl is not really a baby anymore. she's getting...big.


last time i dedicated a blog to piper, she was 6 months old- and today, she's 9 months old! crazy!


truth is, i really love that she's getting bigger. i do love the novelty of small- don't get me wrong. that's why babies are so darn cute to me- miniature things are my favorite. but as piper's personality takes shape, i suddenly have this new infatuation with her. on the verge of obsession, actually. i can't get enough of her big blue eyes, her loud & silly laugh, her big squeezy neck hugs, her cheerful disposition. i'm happy when she wakes up from her naps, and i adore watching her excitement at the sight of her nutty big brother. i could literally smooch her big round chubby cheeks all day long.

for those of you who don't get to see my snuggle bug all the time, here's what piper has been up to since my last post about her:
-she sits up (well, she has for quite a while now). but for the past month or so, she's been rock solid sitter, except if her big brother is lurking sneakily around. then she mysteriously falls over. hmm.
-she feeds herself. fruit, cheerios, vegetables. sometimes she gets all aggressive with her food and her hand lunges out and snatches it up into her fist, like 'ha! i got you!'. she takes food from elias all the time, too. pretty funny.
-actually, she does a lot of lunging. that's her thing right now. she comes at you like a spider monkey. she leaped across eli's bed the other night trying to get alicia, his doll. she'll whap at you if you get in her way, which is what elias is quickly learning.
-she scoots about on her belly. military style. and she can get herself onto her hands and knees and rock. she "crawls" backwards a little, too, and can just about get out of her own way from a sit to a crawl position; she gets her legs all twisted up like a pretzel a lot.
-she can pull herself from a sit to a stand, in her crib at least. saw it the other day. little sneak.
-she loves to clap. clap clap clap. and wave. not a girly miss america wave, though. a hand folds in half, arm jutting straight out. she'll probably be about as dainty as i am. ha.
-she smacks her lips. well, it's her tongue, actually, smacking the roof of her mouth. but it's very loud. and very cute. she likes attention. typical girl.
-she's got herself a nice bottom tooth, and bottom tooth #2 is almost here to keep #1 company.
-she constantly chirps, my little bird. chitter chatter, sing song, she's always got something to say. it's what i call her "constant commentary." elias is always saying "quiet, piper!". and it's for better or worse. if she's mad- you'll know it. piper's got pipes. and one furrowed brow. whoo-ee. she's got a little fiesty italian in her.

here's a closer look at miss expressive:

this picture i LOVE. it's so...her.

this is what i call the "stratton nose flair," typically accompanied by the "stratton serious" face

tip-toes
smiley girl


she's got herself some big bad baby blues

hehe. those cheeks, i tell you!


the last thing that piper is up to, which i adore, is when she jams out when she hears music. this is her rockin out to her glow bug. precious :)

thought for the day

today i just feel really really blessed to have happy, healthy children. i just can't even for one moment take it for granted that they have cheerful dispositions and well-functioning little tiny bodies.

that's all.

that and i stinking love them to bits and bits.

or as elias would say "love you moon and back, round the world, to bottom deep blue sea, 'nother gaxy (galaxy), a most!"

well said, my little man.

something to chew on

for the past month or so, dave and i have been reading the cost of discipleship by dietrich bonhoeffer together each night after dinner. i don't know how many of you are familiar with bonhoeffer, but he was a brilliant, courageous, godly martyr who lived in the early 1900's. and when i say brilliant, i mean, blow your mind, hurt your brain type stuff.

thing is, i just can't begin to blog about him, because he is everything i can only aspire to be, and he never thought of himself as anything special (which makes me feel like i have a whole heck of a lot to learn about humility). he's like one of those songs on american idol that simon says is "too big" for the contestant to sing.

so i'm not going to sing.

but i will share a bit that he wrote in our reading the a while back that i really loved:

"so many people come to church with a genuine desire to hear what we have to say, yet they are always going back home with the uncomfortable feeling that we are making it too difficult for them to come to Jesus. are we determined to have nothing to do with all these people? they are convinced that it is not the Word of Jesus himself that puts them off, but the superstructure of human, institutional, and doctrinal elements in our preaching. of course we know all the answers to these objections, and those answers certainly make it easy for us to slide out of our responsibilities. but perhaps it would be just as well to ask ourselves whether we do not in fact often act as obstacles to Jesus and his Word. is it not possible that we cling too closely to our own favourite presentation of the gospel, and to a type of preaching which was all very well in it's own time and place and for the social set-up for which it was originally intended? is there not after all a sense of truth in the contention that our preaching is too dogmatic, and hopelessly irrelevant to life?"

it just strikes me that "the church" faces the same struggles now as it did a century ago. and before that even, i'm sure. he's a little harsh with believers, but i like it. SAY something. i want to THINK. i want to be CHALLENGED. what can we do better on? how can we show the love of Christ to people? what "works" in a church setting? what do people dislike about "christians"? how can we look different and be different than people expect?

in the memoir written about bonhoeffer by g. leibholz, he said "Bonhoeffer stood for what is called Christian Humanism to-day. For he offered his life for a new understanding of the personal life which has its roots in the Christian faith. (...) To Bonhoeffer, Christianity was not the concern of the believing, pious soul who shuts himself up and keeps himself within the bounds of the sacramental sphere. No, according to him Christianity has its place in this world and the Church as The Body of Christ, and the fellowship in him can only be the visible Church."

i love bonhoeffers thoughts on spiritual vitality and his honesty as a believer...nevermind the strength and conviction he held in circumstances that were truly detestable. situations that you and i will likely never have to face, and can't actually imagine. as believers, we really aren't persecuted around here anymore. we're safe in america to be lazy, comfortable, and mediocre. we just add God to our lives like he's an ingredient in our little recipe when He created baking. we're so lame. following Jesus is a way to live and think and act. it's not something to try to fit into the life you feel like living. but that's what we do. i do it. you do it. even though we know better...

okay. that was a rant.

but in all honesty, i am just grateful God created people like dietrich bonhoeffer to challenge me in my faith. i get lost in motherhood so easily. i mean, in the time i've written this, elias has woken up piper from her morning nap after a mere hour, made a ridiculously huge mess with play-doh, and then went on to feed some play-doh to piper. (thank god it's non-toxic. ay-yi-yi.)

as a mom, i need to remember to nurture and feed my brain so i don't start thinking dora the explorer and lightening mcqueen have all the wisdom of the world. it's not always easy :)

anyone else out there finding anything challenging to chew on these days?

the madness.

you all know about the madness, right?

the kind of times in life where you turn around and it's been an entire week? and you don't have any idea where all the time went, exactly?

well. this past week i've been living in the madness. and currently, the war of madness wages on. between not sleeping, because my daughter likes to cry about 6 times every night (get her OUT of my room!), elias getting sick last night and this morning, throwing up...well, everywhere, having play dates (yesterday at monkey joes with ams! and tuesday with lee), trying to finish piper's room, and having dinner guests or plans every day since friday...

i'm spent. more than spent. and i'm sitting here feeling nauseous, just like i have for the past two weeks (oh no, i'm not pregnant...i checked.) and wondering if it's because i'm blimey exhausted or because elias is lending me his sick germs. time will tell :)

(side note: eli calls pukies "mukies" which is about the only cute thing about kids throwing up.)

on the plus side, elias slept through the night last night, even though he still got sick twice already this morning. piper, on the other hand...she did not. what happened to my 2 month old baby that slept through the night!? somebody find her and give her back! and truly, it's been a great week, despite the exhaustion. don't let me fool you with my downtrodden inclinations.

we had a great couples group meeting friday, elias played with our friends (and his obsession) drew and deanna saturday, which gave me a nice break, we had a some really honest and meaningful conversation with our friends jeff and savannah sunday night, we made some progress in piper's room (room is painted, crib is almost painted) on monday, eli and piper got to play with cadence, jaxon, benjamin, and baby lucas this week, i got to take the kids shopping with my mum to find her some new shorts (i love shopping for other people. i considered being a personal shopper at one time. seriously.), and we had dinner with our friends (and eli's infatuation) beth and matt, AND i've sold a couple things on craigslist.

and in all the madness of having piper's room strewn about, now i have pukey laundry, bedding, and the like scattered everywhere. not to mention piled up laundry, and the fact that my daughter, who i've deprived of naps because, darn it, i want to be social, is awake upstairs after a 45 minute nap. grrrr...not gonna cut it. c'mon, piper- SOMEONE'S gotta sleep around here!

but you know what? i'm no defeated mama!

it doesn't matter what our circumstances are, does it? we can do ALL things through Christ who gives us strength. i can't do weeks like these alone. i can't find kind or good words to say in the midst of exhaustion and puking kids. but i CAN with Jesus strength! i can say positive things, i can rely on him instead of myself, and i HAVE to, because if i don't, the madness gets hopeless and suffocating and heavy.

and despite this past week, and if you can see through any of my complaining, i am trying my best to tell myself that sleep will come, wellness will come, and my house will eventually be put back together. and what matters the most is how i can act in and through it.

so i'm gonna hold my boy and snuggle the heck out of him, and i might even brave the outdoors with him and piper so they can get some fresh air! because mamas hold it all together. and i can serve and take care of my little love doves EVEN if i don't feel like i can...or that i want to ;)

as mums, maybe our trials aren't 40 days in a desert, but they are challenging. what do you all do to make it through the madness?

1 Peter 4:11 says "If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ."

my sanctuary

here i go. this is my first attempt to look on the bright side in the midst of "one of those days".

these are the things that did NOT happen today:

1. getting run over by a car
2. being struck by lightening
3. having a really positive attitude
4. causing my children bodily harm. don't know how, so it must be a miracle.
5. picking up after tornado elias. needless to say, my house is a mess. oh well.
6. a much needed nap for me. oh i tried and tried, but piper, sharer of my room while her is amidst construction, would not go to sleep. grrr.
7. my play date with ams. it's probably best because she busted up her knee and i was threatening my kids safety, soo...

these are things that DID happen today:

1. elias complained all morning about needing to poop. and finally, after 4 days, he did. and BOY that was something else. i'll spare the details, but it involves loads of laundry, bathing, bleaching, and the like. what kid can hold down 4 days of food with a steady diet of miralax? oh yeah. MY kid.
2. one errand. the post office. sent off a few happy packages :)
3. somehow, one of piper's brand new outfits, one of my very favorites, that she's worn once, for two hours, got ruined with bleach. salt in the wound of my day.
4. the diswasher got loaded. a ray of sunshine through the clouds. lol.
5. piper fought and fought eating this morning and then fought and fought sleeping this afternoon. she did, however, succumb to her sleepiness as she screamed herself to sleep while i showered.

which leads to #6...

aahh. a shower.

the shower is my sanctuary. it's not just a place to get clean for me. it's a place of quiet, solace, and solitude. for those 10 minutes, no one needs me (or if they do, i'm ignoring them), i have no responsibilities, and i can just...be.

you can't even hear kids crying in there!

so when i'm overtired, and my kids are driving me to madness, i try to remember to take cover in my bunker. better known as the shower. a little quiet. a little prayer. a little refresher. and i can usually pull it together through dinner and bedtime.

where do you all hide/escape/take refuge in the madness?

productivity

question of the day: what is WITH our obsession as a culture with productivity?


why are we all so bent on making the most of every single minute of our day? and why is it so hard to be satisfied when we accomplish nothing?


i wonder why there is less satisfaction in playing play-doh or trucks with my child, or watching a tv show, than organizing a drawer or folding 5 loads of laundry.


why is it that when we relax, we feel guilty?


i'm totally over productivity right now. not because i don't love it, and not because i don't feel awesome when i get things done. oh no-no. i am caught under the productivity spell quite a bit. if i can get "x" amount of things done, it was a "good day." but ever since piper was born, i'm starting to think that it's really not that important.


as i write that, i'm still not sure if it's really REALLY not that important.

we value it. we need it.


or do we? could we just live life, caring for ourselves, our spouses, our children, and others without the rat race of to-do lists, clocks, demands, and expectations? is it possible? can they be mutually exclusive? would we want to? should we be?


i think, as a norm, as a culture, we are obsessed, infatuated, fascinated, driven, and motivated by productivity.



i'm trying to find some balance within making meals, doing laundry, playing with eli and piper, being a wife, cleaning the house, having guests, ministry, caring for children, having fun, and doing things for myself. (it feels weird even writing that i want to do things for myself. why does that feel selfish when it's actually just necessary?). the more i think about it, i feel like productivity walks the thin line between good and evil. we love it. we hate it. we need it. we don't want it.

so. tell me- what would YOU like to say to productivity?

my sweet boy

why being a mom is great/joyful/fun/hilarious/adorable:

- moments like the one i just had where elias (2.5) said to me "make pi-ber yaff, mummy!" (make piper laugh, mummy). we just discovered two days ago that when elias jumps up and down, piper (5 mos) practically (or literally, who knows!) wets her pants laughing and screeching in delight. and as a big brother who has realized piper is just another small person, same as himself, he just adores interacting with her. he'll lay his head next to her and talk to her (while he slyly puts her bink in his mouth, of course...), give her toys to play with, run to me if he hears her crying ("pi-ber sad, mummyyy" or he'll pat her and say "no cry baby"), and bring me blankets for her ("baby pi-ber cowd [cold], mummy"). she just thinks everything eli does is delightful and hilarious, which is so charming and heart-warming to see. it's like they already know that they're in it together. i can only imagine when the two of them are running around wild. let's just hope piper ends up being laid back and mellow...dare i say, quiet?

- those proud mom moments, like when elias simply blows my mind and name colors and shapes correctly. blows my mind! he knows at least 4 colors and at least a few shapes (that i know of)! does that mean kids actually DO listen when we talk?? what?! yesterday we were coloring with markers and he draws a circle. and it's literally a circle. and he looks at me and says "mummy, yi-yi (eli) draw a circo!" and then he told me to draw a circo, and i did, and he took his marker and made dots inside my circle and said to me "boo dots!" and they sure were. blue dots. and it's magical to see them learn. and you just smile because you are so darn proud of them. it makes you realize that they are so eager to learn and their brains are just starving for more knowledge. imagine if we had the time to sit and teach them! i feel like i'm lucky he knows anything because i can barely get piper fed, myself dressed, meals made, and my teeth brushed! if i actually leave the house?! miraculous! see, God still does miracles.

these little moments were just on my mind, and i just HAVE to remember how sweet they are, because when my son turns around and smacks me in the head and i want to throw him across the room, moments such as these help me to find patience when i have none, sanity when it's all lost, and joy when i feel seething madness.

i know i can't be the only one...