Don't say no one ever told you...

Below is an excerpt from an interview with Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the book Committed (a follow-up of sorts to the ever-popular Eat, Pray, Love). In preparing a discussion for our married couples group tonight, I came across Liz's thoughts on the romanticism of motherhood, which is idealized as much as marriage is. I've started to realize how detrimental it is to romanticize two of the most difficult roles created: mother and wife.

It is an encouragement to me as I read, knowing the weight and significance of both of those life choices, and although I truly adore my husband AND my children both, I realize the implications and impact I do and will continue to have on those people. Forever. (Scary much?)

See, I just want to make it a POSITIVE impact. So today I am grateful I am not alone in such weighty endeavors, but I am supported by the strength of a mighty God, and His Spirit in me. And that's what I need to rely on.

Because let's be frank, if I were relying on myself, my children could be in immediate danger sometimes :)

Committed was an interesting book on marriage in America and what it means to commit your life to someone in the context of history, fidelity, compatibility, family traditions, social expectations, divorce risks, and humbling responsibilities. Here is the interview:

Interviewer: You tell a story in the book that is pivotal for you, about your grandmother. She was born with a cleft palate and thought to be unmarriageable, so she got an education and took care of herself, one day rewarding herself with a $20 fur-trimmed, wine-colored coat, which she adored. Eventually she does marry. And when she gives birth to her first daughter, she cuts up the coat to make something for the child.

Liz Gilbert: That's the story of motherhood, in a large way. You take the thing that is most precious to you, and you cut it up and give it to somebody else who you love more than you love the thing. And we tend to idealize that, and I'm not sure we should. Because the sacrifice that it symbolizes is also huge. Her marriage and her seven children, in a life of constant struggle and deprivation—it was heavy. And that beautiful mind, that beautiful intellect, that exquisite sense of curiosity and exploration, was gone. I went to Africa when I was 19, and when I came back, I was showing her pictures. And I remember her stopping me and just—she had to collect herself. And she said, "I cannot believe that a granddaughter of mine has been to Africa. I just can't imagine how you got there." I think that her story is so central to my story. To be able to choose the shape of your own life—you sort of must do that, as an act of honor to those who couldn't. There were times, especially when I was traveling for Eat, Pray, Love, when, I swear to God, I would feel this weight of my female ancestors, all those Swedish farmwives from beyond the grave who were like, "Go! Go to Naples! Eat more pizza! Go to India, ride an elephant! Do it! Swim in the Indian Ocean. Read those books. Learn a language. Do it!" I could just feel them. They were just like, "Go beat the drum."

So moms, wives, soon-to-be moms or wives, now you can't say no one ever told you how hard it will be (because, really- no one does ever tell you). I'm taking the opportunity to tell you now, straight up, that being married and having children will be THE two most difficult undertakings of your life. And they WILL also be the two most rewarding, as long as you don't think marriage is about happiness, or that raising children is about you.

Cheers, moms, and cheers, wives. Keep loving and sacrificing :)

we love african babies

no, but seriously, though.

and not just african babies, but babies from all over the world who need loving parents to take them into their home and love them to bits and bits. my lovely blogger friend, leigh, and her husband, gray, are raising money to adopt a baby from ethiopia. you can read more about them here.

here's the fun and fabulous part- you can help them and win AMAZING (many hand made) items in their giveaway fundraiser. for every $5 you donate (super easily through paypal) you get one entry towards one of the many different giveaways on their website (check out the goods! and there's so much more on the way in the weeks to come!). all you have to do is donate, then comment under the giveaway you like with your name and some way to contact you, and you're in the runnings!

james 1:27 says "religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

there are some people who don't understand adoption (which puzzles me- what could be more sacrificial and Christ-like than bringing a child into your home? but some people are just ehh), and i said to leigh- 'what better way to care for orphans than to bring them into your home and raise them as your own?' i know that God is pleased when people open their homes to care for others and just love them. and that's real.

so their story stirs my heart, and if you are looking for an opportunity to help or support a worthy cause, check out their giveaway and start donating! just don't add entries to any of the things i want, okay? ;)