makeover

it's time.

time for a makeover. for my blog, that is.


truth is, the layout i have is such a pain in the neck, and i don't even like it that much! it requires tech support, ie, my husband, who's behind the scenes, editing the html for me just to get the font style and size i want. and i can't even change the page elements or add widgets, which are things i know how to do...when i don't have a whack template. i need a template that isn't in french, or made but some random person who doesn't know what they're doing.

i'm a low maintenance kinda gal, and i want to be able to make changes when i want, all by myself.

so a makeover is in order.

i'd like one, too, actually.

blog first, though. it's a lot cheaper. but if you bloggers out there know where i can find the goods to make my blog pretty (without writing html), let me know!

in the famous words of ace ventura: "if i'm not back in five minutes...just wait longer!"

picture post: march

eli's whipped cream mustache

miss piper, smiley girl

playing paino, just like dada

with her my little pony

hanging on the bed with mama

investigating

elias the "firefighter"

haha, in my rainboots and vest

how soon we forget...

i think, after about 5 days, that i am finally climbing out of the dark hole called sickness, with elias and piper not too far behind. dave, with the power of orange juice, vitamins, and will power, has somehow avoided the train wreck. sunday he wasn't feeling well, but he told me he was going to kick this sickness in the...

miss piper sleeping through the night the past couple nights has been a huge help. when i say huge, i mean tremendous. GIGANTIC.

and a jagged edge of her first little tooth has finally emerged. her bottom left.

(angels singing)

this is only the beginning, but i'm ready for all the madness tooth cutting brings.

ha ha ha, not really.

truth is, i have no recollection of tooth cutting, or whether elias was rotten when he got teeth, or what is was like in that period of time. he's like the golden boy who did no wrong because we simply can't remember. dave and i are always trying to recall things from when elias was piper's age, and we rarely can.

regardless of our failed memories, poor piper takes the cake for being a pain in the neck overall anyway. she's a sassy little thing, with her furrowed brow, her angry little fits of rage, and her adorable, beautiful, shrieking, smiling, face.

it's sort of like she's my first child. all the things i thought i learned, or would remember "for next time"? yeah, couldn't tell you one of them.

the other night i recalled (i already had forgotten?!) how she used to make me wrestle her to breastfeed. every time. relentlessly. and now, we don't wrestle anymore (proof that God really does love me!). man, i like her a whole lot more! yet another example of the short term memory loss associated with our kids.

i tend to think it's part of God's divine plan that women especially would forget all of the reasons why we would never want to be pregnant, giving birth, breastfeeding, raising little tiny people, etc. etc. etc. there are about 53972350823 trillion reasons why logic would tell us 'this is not a good idea.' and if this part of our brains functioned properly, would we really ever jump excitedly at the chance to do it again?! if we really remembered??


no. the answer is no.

us women, we just love it all. we can't help it.


the good.
the bad.
the ugly.
ALL of it.

which is why despite some sleepless nights, drippy, boogery noses, coughing, whining, and all the other fun things sickness brings along with it, i still love my life. and i love my children.

and i wouldn't even trade it.


see?! WHAT is wrong with us!?!?

do i dare...dark hair?

first, thank you all for your feedback on my book list. much appreciated. i love a good book recommendation, and i'm glad that many of you have already read a lot of the books on my list already. now all i have to do is get them and read them all. you know, just real quick :)


now. on to one of my new musings: hair styles and hair color.

as i lay awake at night, as i often do after my sleep is interrupted, i have been seriously contemplating dying my hair brown. or dark brown. or even black. as most of you know, i'm a natural blonde. so this is not a decision to be taken lightly.

here are some of my considerations/thoughts/ramblings:

cameron did it, and she looks great...so i'm thinking maybe i can, too? all i need is someone who has done it and has eventually discovered their natural hair color again. because i really do like the blonde i have- it's multi-faceted in colors and natural highlights; it's not ugly or ratty or anything. it's just boring me right now. who says blonde's have all the fun?! we have to feel all torn up and worried about dying our hair!


if i go dark, i want to chop my hair while i'm at it. well, truth is, i'm still torn about long versus short. in theory i want to have long hair, especially now that i've been enlightened on how celebs get those waves thanks to jessi's new flat iron trick, but my hair is so heavy and so difficult when it's long, and i'm always just sweeping it into a ponytail. but don't we miss the ponytail when it's gone as moms?! what to do, what to do...

but here are some scantily clad famous ladies who have hair similar to what i'm thinking in terms of length. if i was smart and had grabbed that random adorable girl i saw in starbucks, i would have just thrown her picture up here, but i was a wuss and i was trying to have a conversation with my friend, leelee, so i missed my chance.

there you have it. i just don't know if i have the guts to dye it. which is mostly why i'm pretty much daring myself and calling myself a fairy/ninny/loser/wimp and the such.

feedback??

books i need to have: also:

i forgot one of the most important ones!

outliers by malcolm gladwell. everything gladwell writes is fascinating and well researched. and he has a great sense of humor. i really enjoy reading his books. check out the link, it's an interview with gladwell discussing outliers. SO good.

books i need to have:

i need a new book. i'm just not into the ones i have sitting on the bookshelves right now. here is my list of books i want to read:

Jesus Wants to Save Christians: A Manifesto for the Church in Exile by rob bell. of course.

The Hurried Child by david elkind. an oldie, but a goodie. i think it's so important to let kids be kids, let toddlers be toddlers...you know? i'm not trying to teach elias how to add and subtract at 3. this concept is so important to me. it's not a race, and it's not a contest. it's a child.

The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical by shane claiborne. heard about it. don't know if it's any good. has anyone read this one?

The Kite Runner by khaled hosseini. gave it as a gift, heard it was excellent, want to read it myself.

The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life In God by dallas willard. again, a recommendation- has anyone read this one?

unChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks about Christianity... and Why It Matters by david kinnaman. saw this in b&n and it was really interesting. didn't buy it. wanted to, though.

has anyone read any good books lately? i need some inspiration!

here is a suggestion for you:

The Power of Play: Learning What Comes Naturally by david elkind. for all you moms or teachers out there. this book is AWESOME. dave and i each read it in one day and had such fascinating discussions on education, how kids play and learn, and much more.

go. read it.

just for fun.

some friends of mine emailed this little ditty along a while back, and i always have good intentions of answering them, and never do. so here goes...a few random things you may not know about little me:

What time did you get up this morning? dave let me sleep from 7 when the kids got up until 8:30 so i could face the day. good man.

Diamonds or pearls? diamonds. or peridot :) truthfully, i think pearls are ugly. sorry.

What was the last film you saw at the cinema? 7 pounds with will smith

What is your favorite TV show? LOST.

What do you usually have for breakfast? tea...and maybe a pop tart or a muffin or some other unhealthy sweet thing.

What is your middle name? lucille. after my great aunt.

What food do you dislike? mushrooms, and any food that has a weird consistency.

What is your favorite CD at moment? i'm back and forth between john legend and adele.

What kind of car do you drive? 2003 nissan murano

Favorite sandwich? turkey, bacon, and mao on a toasted everything bagel

What characteristic do you dislike? insecurity and how it manifests itself in people. also close-mindedness

Favorite item of clothing? jeans are all you need. and one good accessory. for me? usually a (stylish yet functional diaper) bag and some shades. wait, that's two...

If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? hmmm, i think i'd have to say italy. on account of the canolis. and the mediterranean.

Favorite brand of clothing? no preference, as long as it's cute and stylish and FITS!

Where would you retire to? some place close to family...but preferably warm...and near the beach. yesss...

What was your most memorable birthday? i think it was my 18th birthday...it was a surprise party- i LOVE surprises! and people hung out all day until it got dark and then we played laser tag in the rear 40, as my dad calls it. so fun.

Favorite sport to watch? football

When is your birthday? july 28th. total leo. (no, i don't buy into horoscopes and the like, but i think there is something to when you are born that establishes you who you are. main difference being i think God had his hand in it. not some sort of magic or voodoo nonsense. i have a theory. maybe i'll blog about it some time.)

Are you a morning person or a night person? night person

What is your shoe size? 7 or 7.5

Pets? we had a pit bull, scout, but my dad was in love with her, so he has her now. then we had a mutt, cricket, but she liked to destroy everything wood, so she had to go back to the shelter we adopted her from

Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? i'm pregnant. haha, just kidding. no. i have no exciting news.

What did you want to be when you were little? a mom. and an exotic dancer. ask my parents. it's true.

How are you today? tired. but good.

What is your favorite candy? dove chocolate.

What is your favorite flower? lilacs

What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? today! i'm going out shopping with lee!
What are you listening to right now? piper whining. and elias playing outside in the dirt piles.

If you were a crayon, what color would you be? puke green

How is the weather right now? sunny and cool. it smells like spring :)

The first person you spoke to on the phone today? lee-dee-do

Favorite soft drink? coke and dr. pepper

Favorite restaurant? gilly's pub!

Real hair color? blonde, but i'm considering going darker and shorter. i need someone to tell me "who cares if your hair is pretty and blonde, just dye it!" so someone do that, ok?

What was your favorite toy as a child? i loved my barbie dolls and my baby dolls

Summer or winter? summer!!

Hugs or kisses? yes, please.

Chocolate or vanilla? if it's ice cream, then i'll have them swirled together, soft serve, baby!

Coffee or tea? both, but i usually go on kicks, so it's one or the other

When was the last time you cried? a few weeks ago. i was having a meltdown because i was so overtired. and my husband just listened and listened. what a guy...

What is under your bed? right now i have nothing under the bed because we live in a cape, and we can't fit all our furniture in our room unless we take our headboard off and stick our bed under the sloped wall. i hit my head on it every day.

What did you do last night? watched criminal minds and chuck and snuggled dave by the fire

What are you afraid of? something happening to my kids

Salty or sweet? can't choose

How many keys on your key ring? two. i hate jingle jangle.

How many years at your current job? mothering since mother's day (may 14) 2006...editing since september 2005

Favorite day of the week? mondays- dave's day off

How many towns have you lived in? west bridgewater, newton, brighton, allston, easton, raynham...so, 6

Do you make friends easily? i like to think i do. i just wish i had more time to nurture friendships, honestly. there are lots of people i like a whole lot, but spend a lot of my time with elias and piper these days...

If you could have any special power or ability, what would it be? time travel. hands down. i would kill to be able to see what it was like to live in different times over thousands of years.

thought for the day

today i just feel really really blessed to have happy, healthy children. i just can't even for one moment take it for granted that they have cheerful dispositions and well-functioning little tiny bodies.

that's all.

that and i stinking love them to bits and bits.

or as elias would say "love you moon and back, round the world, to bottom deep blue sea, 'nother gaxy (galaxy), a most!"

well said, my little man.

something to chew on

for the past month or so, dave and i have been reading the cost of discipleship by dietrich bonhoeffer together each night after dinner. i don't know how many of you are familiar with bonhoeffer, but he was a brilliant, courageous, godly martyr who lived in the early 1900's. and when i say brilliant, i mean, blow your mind, hurt your brain type stuff.

thing is, i just can't begin to blog about him, because he is everything i can only aspire to be, and he never thought of himself as anything special (which makes me feel like i have a whole heck of a lot to learn about humility). he's like one of those songs on american idol that simon says is "too big" for the contestant to sing.

so i'm not going to sing.

but i will share a bit that he wrote in our reading the a while back that i really loved:

"so many people come to church with a genuine desire to hear what we have to say, yet they are always going back home with the uncomfortable feeling that we are making it too difficult for them to come to Jesus. are we determined to have nothing to do with all these people? they are convinced that it is not the Word of Jesus himself that puts them off, but the superstructure of human, institutional, and doctrinal elements in our preaching. of course we know all the answers to these objections, and those answers certainly make it easy for us to slide out of our responsibilities. but perhaps it would be just as well to ask ourselves whether we do not in fact often act as obstacles to Jesus and his Word. is it not possible that we cling too closely to our own favourite presentation of the gospel, and to a type of preaching which was all very well in it's own time and place and for the social set-up for which it was originally intended? is there not after all a sense of truth in the contention that our preaching is too dogmatic, and hopelessly irrelevant to life?"

it just strikes me that "the church" faces the same struggles now as it did a century ago. and before that even, i'm sure. he's a little harsh with believers, but i like it. SAY something. i want to THINK. i want to be CHALLENGED. what can we do better on? how can we show the love of Christ to people? what "works" in a church setting? what do people dislike about "christians"? how can we look different and be different than people expect?

in the memoir written about bonhoeffer by g. leibholz, he said "Bonhoeffer stood for what is called Christian Humanism to-day. For he offered his life for a new understanding of the personal life which has its roots in the Christian faith. (...) To Bonhoeffer, Christianity was not the concern of the believing, pious soul who shuts himself up and keeps himself within the bounds of the sacramental sphere. No, according to him Christianity has its place in this world and the Church as The Body of Christ, and the fellowship in him can only be the visible Church."

i love bonhoeffers thoughts on spiritual vitality and his honesty as a believer...nevermind the strength and conviction he held in circumstances that were truly detestable. situations that you and i will likely never have to face, and can't actually imagine. as believers, we really aren't persecuted around here anymore. we're safe in america to be lazy, comfortable, and mediocre. we just add God to our lives like he's an ingredient in our little recipe when He created baking. we're so lame. following Jesus is a way to live and think and act. it's not something to try to fit into the life you feel like living. but that's what we do. i do it. you do it. even though we know better...

okay. that was a rant.

but in all honesty, i am just grateful God created people like dietrich bonhoeffer to challenge me in my faith. i get lost in motherhood so easily. i mean, in the time i've written this, elias has woken up piper from her morning nap after a mere hour, made a ridiculously huge mess with play-doh, and then went on to feed some play-doh to piper. (thank god it's non-toxic. ay-yi-yi.)

as a mom, i need to remember to nurture and feed my brain so i don't start thinking dora the explorer and lightening mcqueen have all the wisdom of the world. it's not always easy :)

anyone else out there finding anything challenging to chew on these days?

fickle fickle

yesterday: it was 65 degrees outside.
i mean, i wore a sundress...flip flops! and walked with elias down to one of our lunch spots, gilly's pub, after church.

it was warm. sunny. breezy.

what a difference a day made.

24 little hours.
and today: it is torrentially...snowing? weird. but so classic here in new england, isn't it?

it's hard for a gal like me not to get all excited when it's warm like it was yesterday. i'm immediately like, 'yay! spring is here! pack up the sweaters! hooray!'

truth is, if there wasn't still snow on the ground yesterday, i might have made a break for the beach. in march. mmm. a little crazy. but the sunshine makes me that way. all giddy and happy and silly and excited.

and today, i'm in my pajamas still. i took a two hour nap this morning (thank you Jesus dave is home on mondays). i haven't accomplished one single thing besides feeding myself and my children. and i'm totally fine with it. it's gross out. and it's wet and cold and snowy and windy and rotten. and i feel a little similar.

in light of this roller coaster of emotions, i've deduced that i am simply solar-powered. if there is sun, i am happy despite all circumstances. and if there is not...well, i can go either way.

it's a bit psycho, i think...
...and you know what? it made me think of how we love God. when we feel close to him- warm sun on our faces- we're invincible, positive, ready, willing, capable, adoring. but when the clouds get in our way, and we can't feel that warmth, we get all distant and cold and figure we'll just wait for the next sunny day.

it's so easy to forget, mostly because we are fickle like the weather (ahem, michelle), God is not fickle in the least. he never goes anywhere, even if we feel like he might have moved.

when you're omnipresent, getting away is probably pretty tricky.

so i'm working on keeping my sunshine going in the snow and rain and clouds and blah. because he's there. even when we like to pretend he's not.

anyone else out there fickle like new england weather?

"Am I only a God nearby," declares the LORD, "and not a God far away?" Jeremiah 23:22-24

boogers, earwax, and eyelashes

the thing i love about children is they are in so many ways mirrors of their parents. our speech, our bad habits, our unkind behavior, our idiosyncrasies totally rub off on them.

which brings me to boogers, earwax, and eyelashes.

i have a lot of quirks (gross understatement). everyone does, i suppose. but i have a thing for cleanliness. from personal hygiene-type cleanliness to cleaning my microwave and trash can-type cleanliness. and this trait can be evidenced clearly in my son who can vacuum a floor very efficiently, gladly wipes up messes he makes, and loves brushing his teeth and washing his hands.

in terms of hygiene, i always want my kids fingernails clipped, their noses clean, ears free of earwax, and eyeballs not crusty. it's just how it has to be for me. i can't deal with dirt under fingernails or boogery noses. it makes me anxious or something.

so the other morning, as dave an i lay sleepily in bed, young elias jumps all over the place, playing, snuggling, telling us to get "our dress on," (ie, get dressed). piper wakes up (geez, i wonder why) and elias bolts to hop into her crib with her, as always. we stay in bed, listening to the two of them in the monitor, hoping for just five more minutes. two, even.

but in abut one minute, piper is crying.

this is not uncommon. elias is often a bit rowdy.

i call to him and ask why piper is crying, and elias yells back "i'm pickin she's buuuuggers mum!"

my son is picking the boogers out of his little sister's nose.

hahahahahaha.

and how do i tell him not to do that when i do it to the two of them all the time?! eek!

as his mother, i guess i should have seen the signs that his cleanliness obsession would escalate when he was "geddin eyelash out piper's eyeeee" the other day or when he goes digging around in his ears for earwax.

realization:

my son...

is me. in so many scary scary ways.

...it's nice to have a partner to fight hygiene crime, though.

i think we'll make a good booger-picking team.

the darnedest things

my silly goose

and my sweet boy

elias has really been killing me with some of his expressions lately. killing me. from the way he says things to the little sayings themselves, and of course, his inflections (and accent)...it's all too much sometimes. having a conversation with a 2 year old is pretty much always hilarious. especially with elias, because he's in it to make people laugh. here are some of his latest expressions:


"two times.." or "two minutes.." (sounds like "two mits") as he hold up two fingers. everything is in the framework of two. maybe because he's two.

"what time is it?" this is one of his newest questions. he like to be in the know, i guess.

"stop dooooin this to me!" this is what he says when i do something he doesn't approve of. like taking a toy away.

"cut it out!" yeah. i say this to him all the time, so now he says it to me. awesome.

"one second." he's a busy kid. so he likes to make me wait while he finishes things.

"real quick." he'll say "eyi-yi read this book real quick" it's a good stall for when we need to leave somewhere. along with "two minutes" and "one second."

today he tells me "i no have poops. i'm lyin." what?! i don't even know where he learned about lying. and he gives himself up so quick. always has. he's an honest little bugger. which is great, because he's always into mischief.

but any naughty behavior is followed up with a quick apology: "soirrryy"

"i'm very 'cited!" and "that make you happy?" he's into emotions. he often tells me "this frustratin me, mum!" when toys aren't performing as he'd hoped.

"wiiiiickedd. gp says that all the time." apparently my dad says wicked a lot. haha.

"...on tuesday" everything that happens, happens on tuesday. or "last night."

"siy-yey [silly] goose! deanna say that all the time." eli's quoting everyone these days. watch out!

"member dat?! [remember that?] he'll say "member dat truck right dere, mum? member dat?" lol. why, yes, elias, i do.

"cool dude!" matt and josh taught him that one.

"oh, MANNNN!"

"uh-oh, skeddy-oh [spaghetti-o]" compliments of his dada...

"my bucket" which is his binka. even though he can say binka. he still calls it a bucket.

"my he-bow" which is what he calls an elbow. or a knee. and even a shoulder sometimes :)

"really yummy down my froat [throat]!" haha, yeah...because i was teaching him that food goes down your throat and into your stomach. kids are funny.

"no, me good." it's his version of "i'm good. thanks anyway"

"that mans name, mum?" he'll point at any stranger who he shares a smile or interaction with and ask their name. but ask me. well, they say moms know everything, right?

"when ________'s birthday is?" he needs to know everyones birthday. everyones.

and my favorites:

"smooooooth like butta!" that one is all me. i teach him the good stuff.

"whoa! ho-ey mo-ey [holy moly]!" this is hilarious. that's all there is to it.


kids really do say the darnedest things...anyone have any good toddler quotes?

hitting the club with the reverend...

saturday night, dave surprised me with an impromptu little date night. he had asked my dad to come over and "monitor-sit" so he and i could go out and have a few adult moments.

dave has this spot called benjamins in taunton that he loves to go and read and meet with people for discipleship. it's this upscale restaurant that has a beautiful library that smells of leather-bound books and rich mahogany.

hehe, well, you know. it's just this cool place with bookshelves from floor to ceiling, a bar, leather chairs and sofas, and a fireplace that is always blazing. it's really quite nice.

when we pull in, the parking lot is jam-packed. no spots. we figured there was a wedding reception or something, so we park in a dark corner of the lot and make our way inside. we were expecting to have a quiet moment by the fire, but as we walk in, we can hear loud music pulsing from the library.

live music! perfect. dave had planned on taking me to a local jazz bar, but apparently, it is no longer in business. this was his plan b. and bonus, there's some nice live music. so we saunter in and steal a couple chairs to pull up to a high top. ahhh, live music, a cocktail, adult conversation. it's all lovely.

benjamins is filled with middle aged couples. mostly forty plus people, sprinkled with a few retired folks and maybe a couple or two in their thirties. maybe. so we're clearly the youngest folks in this place. this is a no jeans kind of establishment- everyone is wearing sport coats, slacks, and sequins. it's on the verge of a fashion nightmare, but that's another blog. so think middle-aged, mustaches, bad fashion, and slow dancing to music of the 50's and 60's. sprinkled with some 80's and 90's. a good mix for this crowd.

we enjoy our chatting for a while, as gq and the lady croons some barry white and some harry connick jr. they're very good. i'm pleasantly surprised at how well they can all belt.

a bit later, the band takes a break...we sip our drinks.

nice.

then, suddenly, i hear usher's "yeah" pumping through the speakers. bass bumpin.

and this band, this wedding band, starts covering usher. what?!

everyone gets up out of their leather seats, and they bust onto this little dance floor with their wives, scotch in hand, to shake it to a little r&b.

and then to beyonce's "crazy in love."
WITH jay-z's rap.
believe it.

and then lady gaga's "just dance."

for real.

and i'm like- seriously- WHAT IS THIS PLACE?!!?

all i could do was smile and laugh at how unapologetically this upscale restaurant morphs into a club for sport-coat wearing middle-aged men and women. don't get me wrong, i'm all for movin and shakin, having a drink with friends or a lover, but it unexpectedly just turned into club benjamins, and i wasn't braced for it. i simply wasn't ready for these middle-aged mustached men and their sequined wives to get jiggy. it was a sight. they were getting so crazy in there, someone knocked over a speaker. i couldn't stop watching them all. dancing in the library. what an oxymoron. but i loved it. i mean, they were having a blast.

and so were we.

so. next saturday night. club benjamin's. who's in?