stern men and psycho men

dave picked up stern men by elizabeth gilbert for me at the library yesterday and i've nearly finished it already, thanks to good weather, dave having mondays off, and my kids playing outside while i sat there and read.

the two of us read last night from 7:15 (ie, the moment the kids were in bed) until i finally turned out the light at 11:03. it was admittedly tough for me to put this book down, though. here's why:

1) it's set off the coast of maine. think classic new england and rugged lobster trappers with great disregard for the letter "r"

2) the main character, ruth, is a snarky, opinionated, fiery little thing

3) it's just so well written

4) i've loved elizabeth gilbert since the moment kristen told me to go and immediately read eat, pray, love a couple years ago

5) and i'm a HUGE sucker for a love story, though any love themes are much more subtle than overt at this point in my reading

i also read swimsuit by james patterson last week. i have enjoyed a lot of patterson's books (thanks to amber sharing her beach reads with me on our many spring break vacations), though i will admit they can begin to feel similar somehow. swimsuit, however, was co-authored with maxine paetro, and i have to tell you, it was the most disturbing patterson book i've read to date. in a league of it's own, really. think criminal minds goes unedited and raw. but the storyline was so gripping, the characters so interesting, the psychosis so captivating, i still couldn't put it down.

so what about you?
what are you reading?

any recommendations for me??

books

i haven't talked books in a while. hmmm. you know how i love books. i think for a clip i was on a little book break from "serious" or involved novels. sometimes you just need a little light reading. in my non-heavy book reading season, dave would take the kids to the library and bring back books he thought i'd enjoy, which was really fun for me because when i pick, i tend to be drawn towards certain types of books. he brought home vanished by joseph finder and michael crichton's state of fear, which were two books i really enjoyed and read quickly. i live for suspense :) also, the "hero" in vanished was kinda cool, and "state of fear" is like this manifesto on global warming wrapped up in thriller of a story (i mean, it's crichton, so...). a fascinating book. really. especially if you're a little bit of conspiracy theorist like me :) and while i'm talking about the late great MC, has anyone read pirate latitudes...and liked it?? i need to know.

after that i read fireproof, which was that movie with doogie howser, i mean, kirk cameron adapted into a book by eric wilson. it was abook my mother-in-law sent me because she knows i'm hopelessly romantic and a total sucker for lovey dovey relationship stories. it was a good little story. realistic, i thought, which made it easier to enjoy.

i'm also in and out of boundaries with kids, by cloud/townsend. i think it's a good resource for parents, and i think boundaries are an important element of child rearing.

my best friend lee and i are reading the red tent by anita diamant together right now and i have to say, it's one of the most compelling and interesting books i've read in a long long time. if you haven't already, you should read it. it's well researched, and for me, put personalities and lives to names in the Bible that can become so familiar. i think i may really love historical fiction, and actually, it was suggested to me in one of my last book posts, so thanks!

i want to know what YOU are reading.
what should go on my list next??

elegant or not

ohhhh, blogggg.

i miss youuuu.

it's been a really lame couple of weeks, i have to tell you.

the flu (or his cousin or maybe his second cousin?) came for a visit our house and decided to stay a while. dave was the first to go down, then elias, then me (the day before 23 people were to arrive at my home for thanksgiving), then piper. we mostly had a random, peculiar and miscellaneous smattering of symptoms. 103 temps, chills, nausea, runny noses, headaches, general gross feeling-ness. i won't bore you with any details, like about how sick kids are whiny and needy little drips, but by last saturday, i was so desperate to get out of the house that i was giddy to just get out and do errands. i mean, i almost was willing to gladly go to the grocery store. almost. but we're all better now, and truly, i'm grateful that we weren't more sick. a lot of people are really getting nailed with these various strains of flu.

it's funny, i finished reading traveling mercies by anne lamott* when i was sick. and suddenly i felt like being sick is a great opportunity (and not just to catch up on reading).

let me explain.

i picked up in the middle of the book somewhere, and she was talking about her neighbor who had cancer and how one day she woke up feeling awful and achy with a headache and so on, and was complaining to her neighbor. who's essentially...dying. and having chemo and various other painful cancer treatments. but he smiles and is chipper every day because he is at peace, and is enjoying his life anyway. you know, come what may-type thing. and she was killing me, talking about how ridiculous she felt because she was sick, and there she was complaining to him about her seemingly insignificant troubles. and it really reminded me that there is always someone sicker, always someone who's frying a bigger fish in a murkier pond.

she writes "i hate being the kind of person who tries to get someone with stage-four metastatic lung cancer to feel sorry for her just because she has a headache. (though it was an ice pick headache.) but the way i see it, God loves you the same whether you're being elegant of not. it feels much better when you are, but even when you can't fake it, God still listens to your prayers."

i tell ya, my head/body didn't feel better after reading those pages, but my heart did and my soul did. we've all been there, haven't we? when our life sucks "the most", we're the "most tired", or the "most overwhelmed", even though...we're not. and we're really not trying to be elegant, we're just mad or sad or ill or annoyed and we don't care who knows it.

reading those pages was a good reminder to be grateful even when we're ill, and our kids are sick, and they whine and demand to be held constantly. because when we're sick, we get to read books. and snuggle our kids and watch movies all day. and wear pajamas, and have no pressing things “to-do”. and be present. and enjoy the good things wrapped up in the not so good things.

because that’s life. and life IS good.

*and seriously, if you've never read anne lamott, pick up anything she's written. bird by bird, operating instructions, anything. she's somehow reverent and irreverent, quick-witted, insightful, and at times, cheeky. but i live for honesty in writing. it's like breath to me. i'd rather listen to nickelback on repeat then read books that are a bunch of crap. so i admire her rawness. i wish i had half the audacity she does, even if i don't always agree with some of her theology. it's neither here nor there. hilarious is hilarious. and i love me some funny :)

books

i love books.

(as if you didn't notice, right?) classics, suspense, spiritual, mystery...you name it. i've always been a reader, but i go in and out of being immersed. of course, being a mum doesn't always allow for reading as much as i might like sometimes, but lately, after the kids fall asleep, dave and i have been crawling into bed early and reading until our eyes can't take it anymore. there's nothing on tv worth watching in the summer (or is there? anyone??), and reading, unlike television, actually engages your brain. yet another thing mums can be rapacious for...

so here are a few books i'm reading or read over our vacation:
jim and casper go to church* by jim henderson and matt casper. this book is a "frank conversation about faith, churches, and well-meaning christians" written by a believer and an atheist. it candidly talks about church experiences across he gamut from churches across the grid like saddleback, mosaic, lakewood, imago dei, mars hill church, willow creek, the bridge, and the potter's house. SO interesting for people across the board- both for atheists, agnostics, chrisitians...whoever. you can read it in a day, so pick it up at the library for a quick but thought-provoking read.

the poisonwood bible by barbara kingsolver. my friend nick got me this book SO long ago (my maiden name is etched in its inside cover) and i tried starting it a couple times and didn't get into it. then it looked so good with all my antique books, it became a decoration for a while. i blew the dust off it and brought it to NY and i'm really enjoying it. it's soooo well written, and is the story of a crazy pastor who takes his wife and four kids into the congo to "save" the congolese people set in the late 1950's, early 1960's. it's about 600 pages, and i'm at about 200, and i just can't stand not knowing what's going to happen as a very subtle suspense builds with every page. i've heard good things about kingsolver- has anyone read any of her other books?

jesus wants to save christians by rob bell and don golden. a lovely friend of mine, kate, had let me borrow a pile of books after my post about books i want/need/have to have. this book was on that list, but i had started it and it didn't get me right away. but i dove back in, and i'm SO glad i did. this book is about"faith and fear, wealth and war, poverty, power, safety, terror, Bibles, bombs and homeland insecurity; it's about empty empires and the truth that everybody's a priest; it's about oppression, occupation, and what happens when Christians support, animate, and participate in the very things Jesus came to set people free from." a very powerful and relevant book that had a lot to say about the ironies, complexities, an inconsistencies of "religion." i love rob bell, as many of you know, and he doesn't disappoint in this book.

sail by james patterson. my friend amber introduced me to patterson in college. i've read a handful of his books (kiss the girls, along came a spider) and enjoyed them. this book would make a great movie. good beach read.

unchristian by david kinnaman & gabe lyons. i've talked about this this book already, and gave you a little excerpt, but i'll say it again. read this book. wherever or in whatever your faith is, read it. and then "let's talk about it" as elias would say (he's his father's son...).

redirecting children's behavior by kathryn kvols. my sister lauri gave me this book and i've garnered some good insight. it's written in a really practical way with realistic scenarios, dialogue, and ways to react to/approach specific behaviors. since i struggle with being patient sometimes, and with pausing before i react, i appreciated the approach this author has, although her language and suggestions at times struck me as too gentle and her suggestions for some scenarios a little too unrealistic. a helpful book, though. i wish it would tell me how to not want to flip out as i write this and piper screams her bloody head off in her crib. GO TO SLEEP, CHILD. anyone know any good books for that?

so what are you all reading? i always love to hear so i can make my next book wish list...

"a good book has no ending." r.d. cumming

*the foreword in this book is written by george barna, founder of the barna group, who did the research for unchristian. i like overlap like that when i read books- like when authors quote books i've already read. a small world gets smaller-type thing.

excerpt of the day

"many young adults view christians as hypocrites, meaning we say one thing and do another. they're right. but hypocrisy isn't the issue. we all believe certain things and then act in ways that are contradictory to our beliefs. one person declares the beauty of the simple life on th balcony of the half-million-dollar home with a new cadillac escalade in the garage. another rants against all things corporate with a latte from starbucks in hand...
the problem is not fundamentally hypocrisy. we're all hypocrites at some level. the problem is the air or moral superiority many of us carry around. we stop acknowledging imperfections in our lives. we forget where we came from and all God has done in our lives. i don't see in jesus' teaching a call for moral superiority . i'm a sinner following him. i don't have it all together, and that admission is precisely what tweaks the perception of hypocrisy. in our faith community we say "it's okay not to be okay." we talk about how we as human beings have a lot in common no matter where we are on our faith journey. at the most basic level, we all share the human condition with all of its brokenness. and we have the hope that jesus can really transform lives and redeem the future..."

-jud wilhite (but it might as well have been me)
pastor, central community church, las vegas
author, stripped

from the book "unchristian" chapter three: "hypocritical"

(new to me) music

so i wanted to let you in on the cd's that were my saviors during our road trip to new york state. i love having new music on long trips because it makes them somehow more memorable for me. these were an old list of cd's i wanted. now, with your help, i'm compiling a new one. awesome. so this is what i've had in rotation in my car for the past few weeks:

kenna make sure they see my face. this entire album is fantastic. his music in in the same vein as coldplay, U2, and radiohead, but with splash of electronica and funk. his newest album, which i can wait to obtain, new sacred cow, is produced by chad hugo of the neptunes. looking forward to that one, too. buy this album. it's so good.

wilco sky blue sky. the more i listen, the more i like. and i hear their latest album (wilco, the album) blows this one out of the water. so i think i want that one, too. the voice of lead singer, jeff tweedy, reminds me of ben folds for some reason.

radiohead in rainbows. great album. if you're one of those tech savvy ipod people, download tracks 1, 4, 7, and 8. track 1 is just so good.

mat kearney nothing left to lose. i like mat kearney's voice, and i saw him live one time and really liked his music. but most of the songs on this cd sound the same. heard one, heard 'em all. the "rapping" is not my favorite- especially when he has such a great singing voice. his newer album is supposed to be better- anyone heard it/have it?

ryan adams easy tiger. i LOVE this album. the more and more i listen to it, the more i adore (most of) the songs on it. a couple of them have a bit to much twang for this girl. download tracks 2, 3, 5, 7, 9 (is folky, country-ish), and 12.

robin thicke something else. this album has a lot of soul. every time i listen to it i love it more and more. his cd's are like that. this cd has a catchy r&b throwback feel. i like it better than his last album, actually. download tracks 3, 6, 8, and 9. and if you want to laugh a little about white guys singing r&b, watch this ;)

ray lamontagne gossip in the grain. haven't fit this one into the rotation. he'll work his way in this fall, i'm sure. his music isn't jammin summertime music, so he's gotten back burnered.

black eyed peas the E.N.D.. this one's okay. just okay.

so if you're looking for new music, even if you don't know what you're looking for, there is this website that will help you find similar artists based on bands/cds you like. for example, if you like ben folds, click here to see who else you might like.

and THANK YOU for all your great music suggestions. i'm really looking forward to doing more investigating and listening :)

joy in the hard times

and now...back to your regularly scheduled programming...

i should be doing the dishes right now, and flipping a load of laundry, seeing as how i managed to avoid both like the bubonic plague today. but i'd rather say hello to you folks. dishes and laundry are for losers.

so i've been submerged in books over the past week, and finished up two that were on my "books i need to have lists" 1 and 2. i read kite runner by hosseini (beautifully written. a masterpiece) and outliers by gladwell (fascinating, intriguing, and smart). both fantastic. just as i'd hoped. both i read within two day spans. they sort of required and demanded the reader to be completely submerged. all in. and that's cool, except when you shirk all other responsibilities. namely, watching your kids. if you haven't read either of those books, they're worth the read. and last week was a great week. some nice birthday celebrations, lots of playing with toys, lots of reading. enjoyable. busy as the week wrapped up, but nice.

as saturday rolled around, i got some bad news about my uncle randy. he has cancer that's now spread, and he's not doing well. he's not a blood uncle, but i'm far closer to him than any of my actual aunts or uncles, so it's kind of like getting news that one of your parents is terminally ill. deeply saddening. heart-breaking. and the last time i saw him was the night before piper was born. which was 10 months ago...and boy that time has flown. so i miss him, which is compounded with the sadness of thinking of losing someone who means so much to me. i'm praying for God to do a miracle, though, and i have been for months, and i am praying that Jesus will nudge him a little. Jesus is the way to hope and life eternal. and i want that for everyone.

so this weekend was hard for me. the news actually made me physically ill, which is not something i've ever experienced. and since it was a murky and grey weekend, i was just feeling melancholy, which is not an approach or disposition that i tend to have. i felt like so many people were sad, too, not just me, which made me even sadder. if i'm to be honest, it was almost out-of-body for me because it felt so unfamiliar or contradictory or opposed to my personality. it made me glad that i'm an upbeat person, but it allowed me to really appreciate how true my emotions were.

i have a much better peace today than i did over the weekend. it's hard to be sad, especially when elias crawls up on my lap, wipes a tear with the back of his fingers, and says "don't be sad, mum. it's okay." and then proceeds to wipe the tears onto my dress, which makes me laugh. and then him laugh. kids are good for bringing cheer, aren't they?

please pray for my uncle randy, and that he might find the Lord in this difficult time. more than anything, it's a reminder that our life here isn't what we're living for, despite how gut-wrenching loss can be. i am grateful to serve a God who can remind me that his plans are not my plans, and i ought to be living my life every day like the Kingdom is at hand.

finding joy in hard times is easier said than done, though, isn't it?

books i need to have: also:

i forgot one of the most important ones!

outliers by malcolm gladwell. everything gladwell writes is fascinating and well researched. and he has a great sense of humor. i really enjoy reading his books. check out the link, it's an interview with gladwell discussing outliers. SO good.

books i need to have:

i need a new book. i'm just not into the ones i have sitting on the bookshelves right now. here is my list of books i want to read:

Jesus Wants to Save Christians: A Manifesto for the Church in Exile by rob bell. of course.

The Hurried Child by david elkind. an oldie, but a goodie. i think it's so important to let kids be kids, let toddlers be toddlers...you know? i'm not trying to teach elias how to add and subtract at 3. this concept is so important to me. it's not a race, and it's not a contest. it's a child.

The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical by shane claiborne. heard about it. don't know if it's any good. has anyone read this one?

The Kite Runner by khaled hosseini. gave it as a gift, heard it was excellent, want to read it myself.

The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life In God by dallas willard. again, a recommendation- has anyone read this one?

unChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks about Christianity... and Why It Matters by david kinnaman. saw this in b&n and it was really interesting. didn't buy it. wanted to, though.

has anyone read any good books lately? i need some inspiration!

here is a suggestion for you:

The Power of Play: Learning What Comes Naturally by david elkind. for all you moms or teachers out there. this book is AWESOME. dave and i each read it in one day and had such fascinating discussions on education, how kids play and learn, and much more.

go. read it.

so about that book...

you know, the one i mentioned in my very first post. my deep blue sea. let me tell you a little more about it.

it's a story about

love.

you're likely thinking: boring-sappy-unoriginal-typical-blah.

at least that's what i usually think of when i think of love stories. but this one is good. and it's real. and it's sweet and unexpected. and it's true.

it's my story. our story. the story about my deep blue sea. my dbs.

at this point, i have a lovely green leather-bound journal. i've written memories of the year we were dating, engaged, and married. (yes, it was a busy year). and of course i have to write them down- i don't want to forget them! truth is, my brain is scattered amongst the books i read and write in. as long as i have my books, i'm good. also, i have compiled all the love letters, written and received over our years spent together. almost five now. dave and i both share an affinity for books and writing, so there's no surprise we go old school.

the book will be a compilation of our story. how God divinely orchestrated such minute details to fall into place time after time after time. all the ways he won my heart, all the ways i tricked him into marrying me. haha, kidding. it was all my girl magic, right, babe? ;)

thing is, i think our love story is beautiful. all love stories are beautiful, really. there is something about what happens when you surrender yourself to another person...the risk, the fear, the joy, the excitement...

i'm in love with love.

whatever, i'm totally a girl right now.

so in the spirit of being sentimental, i'll share with you what i wrote for dave that inspired the title of this book. here goes:

"Deep Blue Sea"

Sinking into your depths of blue
Deep blue ocean
Waves of love crash down hard
And you crash into me
I float along in the salty sea
But you make me float
A warm day sun creeps under my skin
You’re under my skin
Whipping winds blow through my hair
But you still see me
You still see me
Sand slips through my hands
Days pass me by
And love crashes down
It sweeps over me
Deep blue sea
Sinking, I’m sinking
Deeper into you
And you want to be
My deep blue sea
Waves of love crash down over me
Taking over me
I float along in this vast blue ocean
And you’re all I see
My deep blue sea
Try to catch my breath
As the waves crash down
But you’re the air I breathe
Love crashes down, it sweeps over me
My deep blue sea
Sinking, I’m sinking deep
Deeper into you
And you want to be
My deep blue sea…

i wrote this in the midst of our dating, soon before we were engaged in july of 2004. it feels so long ago now, but time is so relative.

the twist on this poetry is that d b & s (deep blue sea) are dave's initials. i never wrote it with that intent, but he noticed it right away, thinking i was clever. maybe i am clever, but that one wasn't me. so i call him my deep blue sea.

and he is. much more today than ever.

ahh, sappy junk. people love it ;)

so there's a little follow up to my first blog. i don't know when, but some day i will write our story. it will be so good, they'll want to make a movie out of it. and gerard butler or jeffrey dean morgan will play dave and some cute blonde actress can play me.

i like it!

top 10 reasons why i am madly in love with rob bell

okay, "madly in love" is an overstatement. but rob bell is bomb. here's why:

1. he's written two of the most interesting books i've ever read: velvet elvis: repainting the christian faith and sex god. if you have not read them, i repeat, go to amazon, find them, place them in your shopping cart and immediately order them. with express shipping. now.

2. he wears stylish eyeglasses. what? he does. i love when men are stylish. it's so unexpected :)

3. he's read malcolm gladwell's book, blink. this book is written by one of the staff writers at the new yorker and it's about decision making through the lens of neuroscience and psychology. it's fascinating. he also wrote a book called the tipping point, which is about trends and social behaviors. again: fascinating.

4. he's read sheldon vanauken's a severe mercy. which is easily one of my most favorite books ever. and who the heck has ever heard of it? but he footnotes it. glorious!

5. he's relevant. need i say more? i'm so over christian writers writing garbage about "how to be the best pastor's wife" and crap like that that i'd rather burn to keep warm than spend time reading.

6. he says in a footnote to go read everything donald miller has ever written. i couldn't agree more. donald miller is a genius.

7. he makes jokes and they make me laugh. and i LOVE to laugh. ask my husband- it's the thing i love most in this life, besides him and the Big Man.

8. his nooma videos rock. go buy them all at http://www.nooma.com/ and start a bible study. ready? go.

9. he reads n.t. wright. hello?! have you ever read n.t. wright? yeah, it's no joke, people. get your hands on some of that action and see how quickly you can wade through it.

10. he's unpretentious about how smart he is. and he is clearly well read and researched. especially in jewish tradition and culture, which is so so integral to understanding the context of the bible. you read and you learn without realizing the weight of the theology he's just put into your brain. it's amazing. AMAZING.

i'm noticing half of the reasons i heart rob bell are because of books we both have read and share a love for. maybe i ought to start my own book club.

forget oprah, people. join the hot mama book club! (right lee?) ;)