sun=joy

(this is me. prancing with the birds in the sunshine. because sun=joy, don't you know?!)

we had a great day yesterday. yes, the mere sight of the sun is like a magic drug that makes us all inexplicably glad and positive and excited. my guess is it's most likely because we were created to be in the sun absorbing all that marvelous vitamin D. we were NOT created to be inside. that's why when we are inside, we are mad. and we want to be outside. it's the magic drug calling our name. so let me talk about why i'm high on vitamin D and love everything right now, especially yesterday and today.

1) this goes without saying, but: the weather...is...warm!

2) elias got to play at the playground at watson pond with his buddy aidan (and run around with sticks. and throw pine cones. good times!)

3) which meant that i got to hang out with yvette and chat (i had an adult conversation! with another mother! who's fabulous and pregnant, too! and i mostly kept an eye on my kids!)

4) and meant piper got to follow aidan around and make girly eyes at him. she might have been even happier than elias to see aidan :)

5) when i got home, i realized i got a little color on my face and chest. and i kept catching myself doing double takes like 'why am i pink?' and then i'd remember...and my heart was glad.

6) i got to take a nap. so maybe elias was knocking over lamps and jumping on the bed. i still fell asleep a couple times i think!

7) i spend some time in the backyard raking and realized my tulips were trying to push up through all the wet piles of leaves. tulips and lilacs are my faves and i want nothing more than vases all over my house filled with freshly cut flowers.

8) i was happy to rake. and yes, i was wearing a skirt. that's how i roll.

9) dave snuck home long enough for us to all go out and pick out some more paint swatches at home depot and get fried food for dinner (that's what baby wanted. gotta give 'em what they want!)

10) it was still light out after dinner!

11) i gave the kids a bath and read in bed while they splashed water all over the place. i'm reading point of impact, a stephen hunter book with bob lee swagger, the legendary sniper. (perhaps you remember the movie "shooter" with mark wahlberg. it was loosely based on this book.)

12) the kids went to bed, and i read in bed until dave got home. and then read some more. i didn't touch the dishes, i didn't clean the toy room, i didn't put the laundry away. i just...relaxed.

13) oh. and i'm PREGNANT! woo-hoo!

today is going to be another great day. i'm taking take eli and pip to the playground in west bridgewater to meet up with lee/cadie/jax/madie, and then i have the honor of helping to pick some paint colors for brockton christian. i LOVE paint. but, i'm sure you know that by now.

so what about you? is this sunshine making you all nutty happy cuckoo, too?

a joyful sorrow

my uncle randy passed away in his sleep early thursday morning.

it's funny, i had expected that whenever i'd get that news, i would really lose it. somehow, all i feel is an incredible peace. sadness, too, but there is a lightness i feel that i didn't expect.

his wake is today, and i'm pretty sure that's when my emotions will catch up with my logic and reason. i'm really going to miss him. he had the most amazing sense of humor, a big heart and man, he was just...lovable.

on monday, when my sister and i heard he had taken a turn for the worst, we sat down and wrote to him, in case we wouldn't be able to see him before he passed away. i am SO glad we did, and that his boys could read the notes to him. knowing that he smiled when he heard what we wanted to say really gives us both peace and closure.

that's probably one of the hardest things about loss...there's just so much you want to say, so much they need to know...

i still am not sure where randy stood with the Lord, but i do hope they had a chat or two while he pondered life and grace and hope and peace. i hope those things pointed him to back to his Creator.

this week i've really been relying on phillipians 4:4-7

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

i know that there is nothing outside of God's control, and though we may hope and pray for circumstances to go a certain way, we cannot always understand the vast knowledge of God and his purposes, nor his desire to teach us, love us, protect us, and help us, always drawing us closer and closer to him.

even though it seems impossible, God can be glorified in all things and through all things. even death.

so today i will say goodbye once more to a man i've known my entire life. a man who loved me, who gave me good advice, who listened, who made me laugh, who put carpet in my apartments, who tucked wads of cash into my back pockets, who celebrated holidays with my family, who played with me, who taught me things, who had so much life in him that you couldn't help but enjoy his very presence.

and i hope to honor and celebrate his life by remembering him.

"Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law." Romans 13:7-8