my boy-boy

this post is for all of you who have told me how much you enjoy the posts about elias saying the darnedest things. enjoy :)

this morning i heard elias in the monitor, chatting away, recounting his dreams in detail, per his usual. he'll just lay in bed talking about whatever he'd been dreaming about. i call them his tall tales. (and he says "lyin cryin" [if i'm lying i'm crying] like mater says in the disney shorts from the movie cars). they ARE tall tales because they're the craziest, silliest happenstances i've ever heard of.

i hop into his bed for a snuggle because he's SUCH a little romantic...always cupping your chin in his hand, or putting his little hands on your cheeks, talking to you so close with his fleshy little lips and face. i can barely stand it. so as piper lay with dadda in our bed, eli and i have a nice little chat. he was telling me he wanted to "sneak-sneak-sneak" up on dad while he's "seee-pinn" and i must have been furrowing my forehead as i listened. so he points at my forehead and say "whus that on you's foah-head?" to which i replied with a smile "those are wrinkles" and he said "thems is pretty, mum" which made me laugh and ask "they're pretty wrinkles?" and he says his usual "yyyyeeeeaaaahhhhh" is this low rugged boy voice. the low rugged boy voice typically is only spoken with this one particular response; the rest of the time, his voice gets so high it can be almost impossible to understand him.

and i love it. his inflections are to die for.

after our snuggling we all came downstairs ("get that blanket, get nice a wuu-mm" {no r's for this bostonian} "watch a show a me, mum?") and watched a little dora together while piper did some swinging in her swing. after breakfast ("eatin your o-meam up, mum!" even though it was his oatmeal, he likes to think he's eating my breakfast.), dave was sitting on the couch and elias wants to play a little hide and seek.

easy. you don't even have to be hidden, he'll still play.

but he LOVES hide and seek. so he counts "oneee-twooo-freeee-sixxxx-oneeee, ready a not- hea i come!" and he pretends he can't see dave. he looks around "whea is he? unner there? nooo. in dere? noooo" in ridiculous spots trying to "find" dave. JUST like all of us adults do with kids when they're right in front of our face. and we pretend we can't see them. he'll say "can't fine him, mum" and i'll say "gee, i don't know where he is..." and he'll say "i dunno eee-derrr" (i don't know, either). and THAT cracks me up. kids just do whatever we do, and act however we act.

makes you think twice, sometimes, doesn't it?

but i just am so amazed by him every day. he knows at least 8 colors now, which blows me away every time he refers to something along with a color, like a "ye-yow schoo bus" or a "black an white zeee-braa." and he's really into dora right now, and the other day he's pushing the closet door closed saying "empujón" which means push. the kids got quite a repertoire of spanish now. and it's WAY too adorable. if only i payed closer attention in my four years of spanish.

seriously- dora's teaching me spanish. i never knew how to say push or jump or open...

another couple things i think are cuter than cute right now: he calls this lightening mcqueen car/bath bubble container he has his "big one." always, every time, it's his big one. he has 4 sizes of lmq, so he's quite accurate in this being the largest, but every day when he says "mum, whey's my big one?" or "play with that big one, mum?" i laugh. AND he calls things "boy-boy," which is his way of telling me something is a "big boy" thing. which he totally does because i call him my boy-boy.

because elias is much more than your ordinary boy. he's boy plus more boy. rugged, witty, energetic, silly, creative, helpful, loving, messy, loud, adventurous. he's completely fearless.

a boy-boy.

my boy-boy.

life in the (middle of a million) projects

i love projects. especially home improvement projects, these days.

our home was built in 1849, so it's pretty much what you'd call a work in progress. the thing about progress, however, is that you need to make some. and that proves to be hard with elias and piper sometimes.

i recently made some good progress around here, though. i painted the fireplace mantle, spackled the walls in the living room and office, and did some paint touch up.

AND i finished eli's room. finally! what were once maroon walls with dark and light wood trim are now cobalt blue and "appletini" walls (yes, kristen- the right choice, indeed) with crisp white trim. my anxious heart can rest now that the gloomy, drab maroon paint is off the ceiling and the trim (and yes, the walls). sweet victory over the darkness.

what you must know about our cute little cape is that the previous owners simply didn't pay attention to detail. and i couldn't pay any more attention to detail without becoming a lunatic. it's part of my very essence, i guess, and why editing was an obvious choice for me. but there are so many things that were done, well...poorly. which may be the understatement of the century. and those things drive me crazy. so one room at a time, we've re-painted, re-finished, re-done, re-plastered, re-everythinged.

and i really try not to start too many projects at once because dave is a busy guy, and i always need his help/skills for things. but there are certain projects that take all my will power not to start. like the "built-in" (if you can call it that) in our living room that looks like it was built by a blind man with no arms. it's ricka-rack. and i loathe it. but the walls behind it are unfinished and it will require much more time and effort than my kids afternoon nap can support. so for now, it's left in all it's ugliness for me to look at and be tormented by each day.

i like "re-ing" things. i like the process of making things look the way i envision, but it can be hard having multiple unfinished projects. especially because i'm a results person. i want it done yesterday, and well. but budgets and time-constraints don't always allow, so i wait in project purgatory...usually for a time when dave can help me finish what i started. i'm so lucky he's handy :)

so the other day, as were finishing up painting eli's room, i said to dave something like, "wow, it's so nice to have a project completed...totally done. i'm so excited" and after a few moments he quipped "does this mean tomorrow when i come home i'll find you with a sledgehammer and the built-in in pieces?"

he knows me all to well.

what can i say? i like living in the projects.

my crazy boy

my boy is getting so big. SO fast. i have to share some photos of him, because he's just killing me these days with his antics. here are some of the reasons why elias is SO boy and SO big:

here is elias playing paddleball with dave. that is a ball flying through tthe air there. yeah, he can hit the ball with that little paddle. he's got crazy hand-eye coordination.

this is what elias calls his "han-nel bars" or handle bar. which i guess is because it looks like a bike handle bar. but he climbs up onto this bar and does all sorts of stunts. the other day, he hangs from it by his legs and one arm and says "i'm boots a monkey. eatin my ban-na. oo-oo, ahh-ahh" as he pretends to eat a banana with his free hand. hahaha, i love this kid.

this is eli playing an ATV video game with dave. he is already corrdinated enough to move the joystick with his left hand and press the button with his right hand. he actually plays it! he can maneuver that ATV like a pro. seriously- he might almost be better than me.

well. he's just cute. plain and simple.

and here is is using his "shaver" with dad. he loves doing everything dada does. of course :) i just want to eat him up.

the city

my love, the kids, and i are heading into the city tonight to get dinner at zaftigs with dave's aunt, uncle, and cousins who are in from new york and florida.

i LOVE the city.

ah, sweet nostalgia. zaftigs is right between two of my old apartments in brighton and in allston. remember those days, ams? seems like a long time ago somehow...

even just driving up 93 or even onto the mass pike makes me so happy. i can't even explain what it is. there aren't words. maybe it's all of the fond memories of the years i lived up in the city. or maybe it's the hustle and bustle. whatever it is--

there's just this energy in the city.

oh, boston. you adorable city, you. it will be so nice to see you again.

now. what am i going to wear?

miracles

i started this blog last friday. yeah, almost a week ago. better late than never, right? here it is :)

as some of you may know, i took piper into orthopaedics at Mass General Hospital for Children today for a follow up on her hips.

here's a little back story for some of my readers: when piper was 8 weeks old, she had a routine ultrasound because she was breech for some of her stint in the womb. results of that ultrasound showed she had hip dysplasia (ie, a problem with formation of her hip joint). she had to wear this awful harness for 8 weeks and i was so traumatized, i don't even know if i have a photo of her in it. poor thing.

our last appointment was in september, and at that point, her ultrasound looked great, but they told me to finish her 8 weeks in the harness. hip dysplasia is tricky and may look like it's gone but then it returns. we were encouraged by that appointment, though, and i felt at peace knowing God can handle healing her hips just fine. i still hated that blasted harness, though, and so did piper.

so we go in today (ie, last friday) and there is no sign of hip dysplasia in her tiny little bones and joints. her angles on her hips were perfect, and it was as if she never had any problem at all.

the doctor had reviewed the first ultrasound findings and there certainly was hip dysplasia evidenced in that film. he seemed a bit puzzled almost. it was gone!

a miracle!

it just reminds me that God is so much bigger than our little lives and problems. he is always in control of them, and he still works today miraculously. i think we just expect "red sea" type of scenarios, but this reminded me to be aware of small miracles...everyday miracles. because the israelites saw the red sea part and still they doubted.

and i see my daughter healed and wonder if maybe it was just a medical mistake or oversight.

but the only mistake is that i'm limiting God and his power. and the power of prayer. and forgetting the ways that God speaks and reveals himself. so i wanted to say to you all that we should never forget that God is working now- this very moment. that he's making the impossible happen right before our eyes.

and we have a choice to either acknowledge it...or not. i don't know about you, but i don't want to be like those crazy israelites...

(for those of you who have never seen a pavlik harness, here is some cute baby in one.)

tuesday play dates

just about every tuesday for some time now, my bestest friend leelee and i get together for a play date. we keep getting pregnant together (coincidence?), and we each have a girl and a boy- elias and cadence, both 2 1/2, & jaxon, 8 months, and piper, 6 months. ever since eli and cadie were babes, we've tried to get together once a week to maintain our sanity, our connection, and our adult intelligence (many times via the hot mamma book club)

mostly, we chase our two year olds, bust up fights, feed infants, prepare lunches, and try to keep ahead of the toy trail. we reprimand, counsel, and negotiate. we try to encourage sharing and discourage screaming, hitting, and whining.

we don't always get to do a lot of chatting.

but today...today was different.

our children were fairly quiet. they played nicely together. they shared toys- i mean, they literally asked one another to take a turn. there was no screaming. they ate their lunches without persuasion or bribery. there were no wrestling moves (elias). there was no whining (cadence). there were no melt-downs, no fits of rage, no major issues. jaxon played quietly, piper slept the entire time.

HALLELUJAH!

it was so...nice.
so...enjoyable.
so...different.

cheers to play dates and cheers to friends! i'm so glad i know some beautiful young mamas to share in my journey with. near or far.

how else could we ever survive?

one of those days

i didn't even get to finish this blog. it's now thursday, and i'm laughing at this, so i'll definitely share.

in the realm of motherhood, good days are sprinkled amongst bad days. that way mothers can maintain a small percentage of sanity and children don't get hurt.

today is one of "those" days. one of the ones where you want to rip your hair out. and yell and scream. and you can't seem to get anything accomplished, and the one thing you try to do manages to be aggravating or becomes a debacle of some sort. anyone out there familiar with this day?

it's 11:40am.

my son has not yet has his diaper changed. i just ate breakfast. we are, all 3, in our pajamas. i look like i didn't sleep. oh yeah- i didn't. piper is miss fussypants and is down for her second nap of the morning. must be nice. she won't eat, and i am tired of fighting with her to meet her basic need of nourishment. what an outlandish concept...trying to feed my child.

there are dishes everywhere, laundry is piled high. didn't i just do, like 4 loads of laundry? hmmm.

i'm tripping all over toys, aimlessly wandering around the house, trying to get something done, and i realize:

i am accomplishing something.

silly.

i am raising children.

and that is enough.

as i change the third diaper of the day, i say a quick prayer that goes something like this: "Lord, i want to scream. SCREAM. please help me to remember that ALL things are for your glory. even menial, trivial, lackluster drudgery. i am blessed to have two beautiful children, and it's okay if i do nothing else but take care of myself, my husband, and them. mothering is an important job, and i'm grateful for it. even if sometimes i don't feel like i am."

and from that point on, i felt better. not that it was all roses. it's now two days later, and i have yet to get a good night's sleep. i'm, again, in my pajamas at 5:15pm. so i just laugh. what else can you do?!

(that's legal, anyway...)

miss piper glory

in light of her 6 month birthday this friday...a closer look at my little girly girl, miss p:

well, i call her my chipper little bird. and it explains so much of her personality. she is lively, and happy, and chatty, and she always smiles.

cutest part? she has SO many dimples. and these cheeks that make you want to just bite her.

and these big blue saucers for eyes... and this dark hair (it is staying dark, we'll see!)...

and her laugh is just too adorable. it breaks my heart. it sounds like those fake laughs you hear when you squeeze a baby doll. and she's so ticklish! everywhere. her giggles are so intense that you start to wonder if she might just laugh so hard she cries.

AND she has the girliest little yell and shriek! she is always kick-kicking and punch-punching. always flapping. she is sitting up these days, almost independantly, which looks funny, because she is a tiny little thing (even though she's actually tall). she also digging standing up and holding onto our fingers. elias finds this quite humorous.

piper also has this serious and concerned look. a bit of a furrowed brow, really. it's what i call her "stratton serious" because no one in my family is very serious. we're mostly a bunch of goofs. (except nikki maybe...hey sister, maybe YOU'RE the adopted one)

she is madly in love with elias, whom she watches with utter delight and fascination. he always makes her laugh and smile. they're going to be double trouble before i know it.

things she likes right now:

being thrown up in the air. she curls up into a little ball of shrieking gladness.

sucking her bottom lip

pulling my hair...while eating/drooling on my face

chatting and shouting

playing with and eating toys

holding her feet in her hands

chewing on her pointer finger

and from time to time, sucking her thumb (which i adore)

some more snapshots...i can never resist.

pippa and jaxon :)

with alyssa making her crazy new bird face

sucking her thumb (be still my heart)

yeah...elias sticking his finger in her mouth. 'what, mum, she's chewing on it...'

take that, brother! how do you like it?!

monday monday

today i have a meeting for the open church foundation. it's a small non-profit that creates religious pamphlets. i really love taking off my mommy hat and putting on my creative/professional hat.

check it out: http://www.openchurch.org/

so i'll get my brain firing on all cylinders and have a nice little post on my chipper little bird, piper glory, later today. i've got cute new pics. and i have a date with my facebook wall this afternoon, which i'm quite looking forward to...

laughter

"...man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter..." joseph addison


so this idea is one i've been thinking about lately. as people, we are created in God's image. he created us to have many of his attributes (excluding some cool ones like being all-knowing and all-powerful. that's okay, you can't trust us with one's that are that crazy). like, we can create life, which if you can wrap your head around it is NUTS, but we can. and we can love, which is something that he is much better versed in than we could ever aspire to be, but we are given the capacity to love more and more and more. and (at times) we have kindness, patience, goodness...

but i'm thinking, if we're made in his image, and we can laugh, does God ever laugh? does he float (i imagine he must float. or at least he can if he wants to...) amongst the world having a good chuckle every now and again?

there's this word. a big fat greek one- anthropomorphism. it's when we give god human traits, like saying he has hands, or that he rests. which, technically, he doesn't do those things, but it helps us to understand him better. since he's the kind of God that told moses he'd pretty much die if he got a good look at him, we're not so sure what our creator God is or if he "looks" like something. he's not a man. or a woman, you crazy feminists. he is much further beyond what we can grasp or imagine.

but we, in some ways, are like him. which is awesome.

now, the Bible isn't necessarily a funny book, but i don't think that has any bearing on whether or not God has a sense of humor. i bet God is pretty serious. but i'm thinking he's one of those serious types that once in a while comes out with something that makes you laugh so hard it hurts. you know those types? that's how i picture God to be. there are instances in the Bible where puns are used or where people are being facetious. Jesus always had some witty things to say to the Pharisees, paul had a couple good ones in there, and elijah had a classic line in 1 Kings, so there's a sprinkling of humor that does come across in translation.

but i love to think that God really laughs, even if not literally, he figuratively must. if he can enjoy, which he does, then he can laugh a little. maybe throw a joke or two out there for the angels, i don't know.

it's just one of those things i think about. probably because i love to laugh, which i know i've mentioned before. and he made people special by giving us a body, a soul, and a spirit, and by separating us by the faculty of laughter.


right now, the jury's out. i'll have to wait a while to ask him, i figure, but what do you all think?

some notable quotes

okay. my son is cracking me up the past couple days. he's just always got something to say that is funny or quick-witted or by the very nature of him being 2 1/2, silly. i must share.

quotes of the day:
(i try my best to write his quote with the inflections he uses. even though he may say the words correctly, his little boston accent and his high pitched tone have to be accounted for. here's my best rendition)

"mum, come wratsle me!" yes, wrestle. this kid loves to wrestle. he's been taking innocent children and adults down by the neck for over a year.

elias wanted the "choo-choo song on" so i told him to come give me a kiss. which he does. a nice long wet smooch, per his usual. he's a lover and a fighter. i stand up to put his CD in the player and he grabs my leg and kisses it and says "big mooch on your dress!" which is funny because i was wearing my bathrobe. i love this kid. i'll wear my bathrobe every day as long as someone thinks it's a dress.

every night when i go to tuck him in he playfully looks at me and says "i scay-id mum" and he smirks and throws a sweet side glance as if i won't notice he's trying to play me. i love his little silly boston accent when it comes out.

today he said to me when we were driving in the car past a lake "get na-ed and go in there mum." you know, 25 degrees, perfect time to get naked and go for a dip in a frozen pond. i mean, he's a little fish, always has been, but i guess now we know he's not joking around. summer or winter, he's game.

yesterday, we're playing with lightening mcqueen and mater from the movie Cars. i'm mater, and he crashes lmq into me. i pretend like mater's sad, and elias looks at me and says "li-ning mcqueen sit time out hitting mater" then looks to mcqueen and says "no hit mater again. give mater hugs. take him out for dinner." hahaha. dinner, too? time out's not enough, the poor guy has to take him out to eat? man...

i say to elias "how old are you, eli?" and he says "two yeeaahhs oowwwdd" yup. cute.

today when i tucked elias in for a nap i whisper in his ear "i love you the MOST" to which he replies "no, i love YOU a most in the WORLD" and being competitive as i am, i say "no, i love YOU the most in the world." and he says to me "i love you TWO TIMES a most in the world."

okay. you win.

and where the heck did you learn to one-up me like that? and how do you know that two-times is more? he can't be my kid if he understands math concepts...


kids are funny. i like funny. does that mean i like kids? hmm. that's tough math...

so about that book...

you know, the one i mentioned in my very first post. my deep blue sea. let me tell you a little more about it.

it's a story about

love.

you're likely thinking: boring-sappy-unoriginal-typical-blah.

at least that's what i usually think of when i think of love stories. but this one is good. and it's real. and it's sweet and unexpected. and it's true.

it's my story. our story. the story about my deep blue sea. my dbs.

at this point, i have a lovely green leather-bound journal. i've written memories of the year we were dating, engaged, and married. (yes, it was a busy year). and of course i have to write them down- i don't want to forget them! truth is, my brain is scattered amongst the books i read and write in. as long as i have my books, i'm good. also, i have compiled all the love letters, written and received over our years spent together. almost five now. dave and i both share an affinity for books and writing, so there's no surprise we go old school.

the book will be a compilation of our story. how God divinely orchestrated such minute details to fall into place time after time after time. all the ways he won my heart, all the ways i tricked him into marrying me. haha, kidding. it was all my girl magic, right, babe? ;)

thing is, i think our love story is beautiful. all love stories are beautiful, really. there is something about what happens when you surrender yourself to another person...the risk, the fear, the joy, the excitement...

i'm in love with love.

whatever, i'm totally a girl right now.

so in the spirit of being sentimental, i'll share with you what i wrote for dave that inspired the title of this book. here goes:

"Deep Blue Sea"

Sinking into your depths of blue
Deep blue ocean
Waves of love crash down hard
And you crash into me
I float along in the salty sea
But you make me float
A warm day sun creeps under my skin
You’re under my skin
Whipping winds blow through my hair
But you still see me
You still see me
Sand slips through my hands
Days pass me by
And love crashes down
It sweeps over me
Deep blue sea
Sinking, I’m sinking
Deeper into you
And you want to be
My deep blue sea
Waves of love crash down over me
Taking over me
I float along in this vast blue ocean
And you’re all I see
My deep blue sea
Try to catch my breath
As the waves crash down
But you’re the air I breathe
Love crashes down, it sweeps over me
My deep blue sea
Sinking, I’m sinking deep
Deeper into you
And you want to be
My deep blue sea…

i wrote this in the midst of our dating, soon before we were engaged in july of 2004. it feels so long ago now, but time is so relative.

the twist on this poetry is that d b & s (deep blue sea) are dave's initials. i never wrote it with that intent, but he noticed it right away, thinking i was clever. maybe i am clever, but that one wasn't me. so i call him my deep blue sea.

and he is. much more today than ever.

ahh, sappy junk. people love it ;)

so there's a little follow up to my first blog. i don't know when, but some day i will write our story. it will be so good, they'll want to make a movie out of it. and gerard butler or jeffrey dean morgan will play dave and some cute blonde actress can play me.

i like it!

hit me baby one more time

(haha. sorry. i couldn't help myself. finding a title is hard.)

but wow. i feel so inspired! fact is, i was totally having writers block when i noticed my blog reached 100 hits. thanks, everyone. i wish i could wow you with some deep and amazing thoughts today, but i'm tired and my brain is literally struggling to make cohesive sentences. in light of my current condition (i think they call it motherhood?), i'll share a couple short eli anecdotes from this evening.

tonight at dinner, elias wants be to give him more of what we call fizzle. it's bubbly flavored water, really. so he stands up on the bench, slides his empty cup to me and says "more fizzo in that cup, kayyy?!", his voice rising ever so highly as he oh so matter-of-factly tells me what i need to do. and then he leans back, his little belly exposed as his hands reach behind his head, and lets out a big old belch.

it was so boy.

and so hilarious that i just lowered my head and tried not to drool out the food that was in my mouth. who is this small person?

and after dinner, instead of digesting, elias likes to run. you know, work off those calories straight away before the dust settles. so i chase him...and capture him...and tickle him. the standards. and then i spun him around a bunch (no, he doesn't throw up, don't worry) and when it's all over he says to me:

"get busy againnn, mummy!" which is even funnier because he can say dizzy. dizzy is the cement mixer on bob the builder. we know and like her very much. but for some reason, when we're spinning, we're getting busy, so i just had to laugh.

a good end to a long day. a little laughter goes a long way for me.

again, i am humbled that you're here to read about my little life. i'm glad you like it.

i know i do :)

post christmas post

truth be told, i'm not technically inclined, though some of you may be under the impression i am. i just aspire to be. luckily, i married a guy who used to be a programmer/help desk technician/something else that i forget before he was a pastor. talk about a catch. and today my love installed the software for our new digital camera. perfection! tutorial time! my sister and mother are professional photographers, so i leave holidays to the pros, mostly. so i haven't got a whole lot of christmas pictures to share yet,

but i will have some. by spring, i'm sure of it ;)

classic elias mid-sentence face

telling me about "frutsy" the "noman"

this is the tree that almost was perfect. if only we ever finished decorating it...

here is a little family portrait on our "pajama tree-decorating party" night


and this is another...


here's me trying to get elias and piper in one picture. easier said than done...

my little bubski's...

top 10 reasons why i am madly in love with rob bell

okay, "madly in love" is an overstatement. but rob bell is bomb. here's why:

1. he's written two of the most interesting books i've ever read: velvet elvis: repainting the christian faith and sex god. if you have not read them, i repeat, go to amazon, find them, place them in your shopping cart and immediately order them. with express shipping. now.

2. he wears stylish eyeglasses. what? he does. i love when men are stylish. it's so unexpected :)

3. he's read malcolm gladwell's book, blink. this book is written by one of the staff writers at the new yorker and it's about decision making through the lens of neuroscience and psychology. it's fascinating. he also wrote a book called the tipping point, which is about trends and social behaviors. again: fascinating.

4. he's read sheldon vanauken's a severe mercy. which is easily one of my most favorite books ever. and who the heck has ever heard of it? but he footnotes it. glorious!

5. he's relevant. need i say more? i'm so over christian writers writing garbage about "how to be the best pastor's wife" and crap like that that i'd rather burn to keep warm than spend time reading.

6. he says in a footnote to go read everything donald miller has ever written. i couldn't agree more. donald miller is a genius.

7. he makes jokes and they make me laugh. and i LOVE to laugh. ask my husband- it's the thing i love most in this life, besides him and the Big Man.

8. his nooma videos rock. go buy them all at http://www.nooma.com/ and start a bible study. ready? go.

9. he reads n.t. wright. hello?! have you ever read n.t. wright? yeah, it's no joke, people. get your hands on some of that action and see how quickly you can wade through it.

10. he's unpretentious about how smart he is. and he is clearly well read and researched. especially in jewish tradition and culture, which is so so integral to understanding the context of the bible. you read and you learn without realizing the weight of the theology he's just put into your brain. it's amazing. AMAZING.

i'm noticing half of the reasons i heart rob bell are because of books we both have read and share a love for. maybe i ought to start my own book club.

forget oprah, people. join the hot mama book club! (right lee?) ;)

hello, 2009

i feel like months are being torn from calendars like you see during montages in movies. months drifting away and suddenly, a year is gone. each passing month brings me closer to summer and the beach, so i'm okay with it, but it just feels so fast.

so hello, 2009. it's nice to meet you.


now. i'm not one for resolutions. mostly they're just unattainable ideals people set up and can't keep up. but i am one for goal setting, however. and i have a few ideas of goals for myself personally. we all have something we can be working on, don't we? so even if my husband tells me i'm perfect (which i find laughable), i am self-aware enough to know i don't do everything well. just most things. kidding...


this year i have some goals that i think i can manage to work on with a little help from the Lord. he's the right guy to know for this kind of job.

1. i aspire to be more patient. which i hate to write, because the more i ask for it, the more opportunities God keeps giving me to work on it. if only he'd just make my children perfect angels. then i'd have no trouble at all. right?

2. i want to communicate better. feel my feelings (right, kristen?) and just talk. the irony about my aversion to talking and talking about everything is that my husband is in love with talking. he wants to hear what i think about everything, and it fills up his love tank* every time i do share with him. sooooo, yeah. i'm, a big loser.

*reference to an amazing book every married couple must read called love & respect by dr. emerson eggerichs. if you haven't read it, you're not cool, and you need to go order it online right now. with express shipping. seriously. right now. go.


3. i want to read more books. i LOVE books. and sometimes i forget and i need a great book to remind me. like the one i'm reading right now.

two words: rob bell. more on him soon.

4. i aspire to love God more like he loves me. (talk about unattainable ideals!) no, but i want to try, regardless of whether it's possible or not. i just feel like i'm the bum in our relationship, and he loves me anyway, even though i'm not as good at loving him. i feel like perhaps i understand a little, having children of my own. you love them despite themselves, and when they tell you "stay home, mummy" at the beginning of a four hour car ride to vermont, you STILL love them. even though they're straight out mean to you. and i think that's a little taste of what it feels like for God. he created us, and then gave us the choice to love him or not. okay, that was a tangent.

5. to have fun and be more adventurous. truth is, i am fun. and silly. playfully jocular, even. but i'm not always the most adventurous. but i think i'd like to be more open to new things and experiences. i like what i like, but the problem with that approach is there are a heck of a lot of things i may also like...i just don't know about them yet. time to find out...

and there are probably about another dozen things i could list, but those came to mind first, so i'll try to not go all overachiever on my goal setting.

what about all of you out there? got any goals for 2009?