Traf-gik

My backseat driver:


Traf-gik, also known as traffic, is no friend of mine. Elias is well aware of this, as well as many other unwritten rules of these Massachusett streets (can I make MA singular? It sure looks weird. I'm gonna go with it.) For example, he knows that if I swerve or beep my horn, it's because "people aren't driving safe." Or I I slow down at any point, it's because there's traf-gik. Elias has become the ultimate road observer and a back seat driver extraordinaire. For real- driving in this state through the lens of a three year old is hilarious, at the very least.

I tell you all this just so I can tell you a little story from last week that put me in stitches (is that the wrong expression if we're talking about cars?) It was after Piper's appointment in the city, and Elias, Piper, and I were driving in the car. Mostly, I was driving. I slowed down and Elias asked if there was traffic. I replied that there was not, and I had to "slam on my brakes" simply because the person in front of me had. He asked "Why did that that car slam on hims brakes?" to which I answered "Because the man in front of HIM slammed on HIS brakes." Making deductions, per his usual, he replied "Ohhh, so he had slam on himsss brakes. Ooohhh!"

And suddenly, his brain made yet another connection: "Mum, you hit traf-gik with Piper on your way home from Boston?" and I'm thinking, 'Dave must have told him that. Funny...' so tell him that Piper and I did in fact hit traffic, yes.

I can see the wheels turning in his cute little mind, and he cocks his head, squints his eyes (his thinking face), and asks "Are Piper's nipples okay?"

What?!?!

And then I realize, he's totally asking about her hips, and I'm dying equally over the hilarity of body part mix ups (hips...nipples...close enough, right?!) and the adorable concern he has for his little sister. And that's the stuff of life right there.

You must all have one of these stories! So tell, tell!

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