dear piper

dear pip/pippa/pipski/doodabug/pretty/bubbie doll/love/glory girl/pippi/ (or penelope as your gp calls you because he can't remember your name. don't fret, he still mixes mine up...),

girl, i have to tell you that you have proven to be one difficult child. i mean, i love you to bits, but you sure know how to crawl under my skin and wear me like last years versace. you are a crazy NUT. this past year with you has not been an easy one (heck, being pregnant with you wasn't even easy. i knew then you'd be a handful, too, i just KNEW it). there were months where i literally wrestled you to get you to nurse and i'd be so frustrated that i'd be in tears, mumbling about how i'm going to let you starve. there were nights where you'd wake up 5 or 6 times...and i'd be threatening your life under my breath. there were those months you were in that God-awful harness, and i was so traumatized, i don't think there are any pictures of you in it. thing is, you can totally be a whiner sometimes, and whiners get death stares and firm reprimands from me. it's been tough...i'd say. we've had our shares of battles.

but it's also been sweet. like rocking you to sleep, which i still love to do, and kissing your cheeks a million times since you won't wriggle away. or playing with you, snuggling you, seeing you smile with your two tiny teeth sticking out. reading you books, and watching you explore on your own, eating sand and rocks and grass, doing what 1 year olds do. every time i look into those navy blue eyes batting behind those dark lashes, and when i see all those dimples in those chubby little cheeks of yours, i just can't help but adore you.

i actually can't believe you're one year old. in my mind, i'm keeping you a baby as long as i can, in case your my last, but you're not six months old anymore. it's gone far too fast, as it always does.
it's so hard to describe after only one year of life, but if i were to, i would use words like this:

demanding (you literally do take great patience and effort and skill)
impatient
smiley
squirrely
fiery
opinionated
happy
fast & furious
crazy
silly
bossy
gregarious
chipper
serious
loud
chatty
forceful
determined

these days you want to walk, but it's faster to crawl. right now, you are so intent of blazing around here, that you often slam your face on the floor because your hands cant keep up with your body. i think you've bled more times than elias has in three years. when i do stand you up, you just dive at me, no matter how far away i am. although today (it's only june 24, but we'll be on vacation for your birthday), you did take your first step towards me! i'm sure you'll be running around here in no time. you say da-dah, and mum-mum and eyi-yiii, and num nummms, which is adorable. you really never are quiet. ever. that's why i call you bird. always chirping, always singing. literally. you are always humming or singing or chirping. and i swear sometimes you sing the abc's (mostly e, f, and g, though) and you sure do love dancing. just like your mama.

i love how you love playing with your shoes (or my shoes) more than anything else. that's my girl. i love how you play with your baby dolls, and how you drag them around, one in each hand, and how you try to drink from their pretend bubbas and cups. i love watching you play in the kitchen elias has barely played with, practicing your cooking skills already. i love how you think peek-a-boo is hilarious and enjoy chasing me around the house. nothing like a good game of chase. i love how you can out eat any one of us. always the first to start eating and the last to finish. i love how you put things up to your ear and tip your head like you're on the telephone. where did you learn that?! i love how excited you get to see your dad or elias. or me, i suppose, it's just rare that i leave :) i love your chubby thighs and your soft skin. i love how you think it's hilarious to stick your tongue out like gene simmons from kiss. i love how you shout and yell at elias when he takes toys you want (i can't wait until you just take them back instead of yelling, though.) i love your vitality and your force and your spunk. sometimes i even think your little attitude is cute...until i remember that you'll be three some day, too. and it won't be cute. at all.

i think as you grow older you will have a strong will and a determined personality. both of those things are great adult attributes...and difficult children's attributes. but girl, i have never for one second given up on you. because my will is even stronger than yours. i am really looking forward to watching you grow up and eventually shopping with you and chatting with you and teaming up against the boys with you. you and i will probably always win against those softies ;)

some of the time, i could go bananas listening to you squawk. and a lot of the time i am annoyed that you are constantly underfoot, climbing up my leg like a spider monkey. but all of the time, i love you. and all of the time, i want what's best for you and to care for you like a good mama should. which means i can't lock you in closets. (darn it). i will kiss you and snuggle you and love you to death. even if much of the time i'm saying "she'll be the death of me..." God has really taught me a lot about patience and perseverance with you, so i'm thankful every day for the spice you bring to my life. truly. you're one beautiful force to be reckoned with.

cheers, pippa, to this past year and the years to come. i love you, girly girl.
love,
mom